Ruin you wish!!

[tavi]

Granted now there a huge transvestite at your door

I wish i had a blank cheque signed by donald trump.

[Aaron]

Granted and Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a blank cheque from Sr. Donald Rodriguez Trump, currently residing in New Mexico. Unfortunately he is bankrupt and getting deported tomorrow.

I wish I could fly.

[VileKyle]

Granted. You are now a fruit fly.

I wish my nose wasn't bleeding right now.

[southbiochem]

Granted, an assassin slits your throat, now blood won't be coming out of your nose.

I wish I had a boyfriend

[trialbyerror]

Granted, but his name is Sauron and he lives in Mordor, and has a horribly smelly dungon where he keeps you and all his other subs, and makes them perform unspeakable bukka.... Speak to Bowyan

I wish i could read minds

[Miles]

Wish granted.

(That's a ruination in itself.)

I wish dicks.

[Beau]

Granted. Everyone named Dick is now living in your flat.

I wish for chicken pot pie.

[mbennet35]

Granted but the chicken was under cooked and bloody.

I wish I was asleep right now

[southbiochem]

Granted, a boulder crashes into your head and now you're comatose..

I wish I didn't have to work with so many potencially life-threatening acids

[tavi]

Granted though you now have to work in a zoo with potentially life-threatening lions.

I wish i had someone to cuddle tonight