Is he Straight or Bi?

[zed05]

Ok, so I have an officemate and a close friend..
He's straight. He has a girlfriend..
He's too sweet to me though..
I mean, everyone knows I'm gay, so most straight men avoid me.
I only have like three straight guys at work that I can talk to, and he's one of them.
Let's call him Gio. Our workplace are divided into several teams, we're teammates.

So, me and him, teammates, we sit next to each other.
He always hears my jokes, and cracks up. Since then, we got close..
He would tickle me everytime he greets me goodmorning, sometimes when in a quick huddle or team meeting, he'll lean on my back.. He's sweet. He's very sweet to me.
Now, some people told me, Gio is Bi, and there is a possibility that Gio likes me.
But, I didn't believe it, coz he has a Girlfriend. Then, came december last year, he did things no straight guy would do for a gay guy, like go to the mall with me, eat lunch with me, hang out with me, and he's just too dang sweet to me.

I fell for him, and told him that I'm in love with him.
Then, he changed. I don't know what to do now.
Help!
If he really does like me like I like him, how would I know for sure?
And if not, how can I save our friendship?

[StarletHologram]

Hi zed05. Well man, this was really an unfortunate event. In response to your questions:

1)Nope, you can’t know for sure what´s on his mind. There´s a lot of uncertainty in the case of straight men. Don´t waste your time with this, you should focus your attention in the aim to regain his friendship.

2) Try to talk with him. First of all offer him an apology and tell him that you didn´t mean to make him feel uncomfortable, but since he is a close and special friend you couldn´t help it but to open your hearth and confess your feelings for him. That you forgot that he is straight and he is already in a relationship, and that this won´t happen again. That you miss the times when both of you were hand in glove, and that you´re willing to do what it takes to get back his friendship. Of course, that doesn´t mean that you´ll have do everything literally, like be his servant, his bitch or do his work. That only means that you´ll respect the conditions he´ll demand, like don´t try to touch him or seek him for a time. This is a difficult situation, because maybe he only saw you as a good friend, and he may not want that you misinterpret his attentions, we don´t know for sure. After you talk with him, let some time pass…spend your spare time in an activity that you like, see some friends....work really hard in the office. I hope all will be right in the world very soon, and you´ll be friends again . If for some reason he doesn´t want to be the same, move on and carry on with your life. I´m sure you´ll meet other special peoplemile:.

Now, why did I suggest you not to waste time on this matter?.

A word to the wise, :mad: don´t ever consider a “straight man” seriously for a potential lover, and much less when there´s a lot of gay people everywhere. The likelihood that you´ll have to deal with a deception/frustration/trouble is high. I abide by that, and I think it benefits.

The only facts that we know are that he and everyone in the office know that you´re gay, that some of the straight declared men avoid you because of it and that despite of that he accepted you and was friendly.

The idea of tolerance to gay people and gay-friendly behaviour is very controversial, cause you don´t know for sure the motivation that a straight man has to wish the friendship of a man that likes other men and may like him. I´ve found articles on the web and even a group that show straight people looking for gay friends…the women wish a gay friend cause he may understand more her feelings, be able to share a lot of interests or maybe they have an image that we´re more sensitive and noble than the rest; on the other hand, some man see us as an opportunity to meet straight women, to get advice about dealing with them, cause we´re a potential relief for their accumulated loads, you know, cause the fact that we like dicks seem that we´re willing to do the favor to them on every opportunity we have…etcetera. The thing is that you can´t know for sure what´s inside the mind of a straight man, why he is your friend and why does he agree to hang out or frolic with you.

I´ll give you and example of a situation that happened not long ago:

I have 2 friends: one is straight and one is gay. We used to get along really well. You know, this straight gay is really cool with us, he respected our sexual preference and even hang out with us. He´s very masculine and charming, and guess what, very good-looking. I met him because of my other friend, and as I said, he even went with us to gay discotheques. He danced, joked and joined us in the general fun. Both of them were to close with each other, and some of our close friends started to thing that it wasn´t normal that a straight man could have a closeness with gay people, that maybe he was a repressed soul. We didn´t pay attention to that comments, but then one day my gay friend told me that he had been going out with him and things had started to happen…like a little kiss, they share a bed and sleep together, the other guy hug him in the night…My gay friend started to fall for him and to hug the hope that he may found love…time passed and they finished having oral sex. The situation changed between them, and the straight friend started to avoid him. Did I mention that he had a girlfriend?. Well, now they don´t get along well and rarely look each other face to face. Do we know what happened with my straight friend?. No. Do we know why did he agree to have sex or make out with my gay friend?. No. Is he a repressed gay/ hetero curious/confused man?. Maybe he only has an itch to have sexual experiences with a gay man whenever he had the opportunity, we don´t know. Who cares?. We only know that he wasn´t clear about his intentions or feelings, and cut off the ties of friendship that he had with my other buddy. What´s the moral of the story?. If you want to avoid deception in love, STAY AWAY OF STRAIGHT MEN! :mad:, and turn around to look gay people. That doesn´t mean you won´t have problems, but at least you´ll be with someone that is more sure about his feelings.

[pellaz]

all good but wasnt this posted already