Very Confused guy!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Are you a curious single man or are you in a relationship???

Maybe its just an oversight thing, but lets just ask yourself, "What am I really?"

Are you in a relationship or do you consider yourself 'single'?

If you are in a relationship but feel single, then there may be a lot more going on here than just being turned on my gay porn. It may be a deeper dissatisfaction with the relationship, thus you are more or less looking at things to spice up your own life.

Some guys view 'gay sex' as NOT cheating when they are 'straight'. Thus a guy will be married and actively seek sex with men and not feel that he is 'cheating' on the marriage. Of course the problem is not that he is having sex with men, the problem is he is unhappy/unsatisfied at home thus looking to fill some deeper need (intimacy, lust, whatever) through his escapades outside of the relationship.

Either you do fancy or you don't fancy men.

Now I am American so I have to pull out my Cambridge UK English dictionary to look up the word 'fancy':

UK to want to have or do something
UK informal to be sexually attracted to someone

I'm going to assume you are saying that you are and are not sexually attracted to men. After all watching gay porn means something - if it gets you "turned on" then are you sexually attracted to men?

A bit more confusion here....

While we tell others that being gay is not about the sex, I have to temper that with in your mind the word 'homosexual' means homoSEXual - thus the sex is the big part (perhaps only part?) of being gay that you understand 'gay' to mean.

So I would assume that in your mind that since you are into the homosexual sex, that you are indeed a homosexual - by your definition and concept of what homosexual means.

Since its the gay things and not the bisexual things, I have to assume that you have concluded that bisexual is not an option here, thus you left yourself two options - gay or straight.

How you identify yourself is up to you, ultimately.

Assuming you are still in a relationship with that Great Gal, I would assume that you understand that you are seeking to cheat on her and she most likely will view 'sex-chatting' as cheating.

I have to wonder if your actions are telling us she isn't really all that great, or perhaps you are just telling us that you don't want to be with a great person and are just looking for an interesting way to break her heart.

I doubt you understand the full ramifications of your actions and the potential consequences. I doubt you understand your deeper motivations. Thus it will be hard for us to understand you and your REAL needs, REAL wants, REAL desires and why you are doing what you are doing.

This is going to be something you need to meditate on and consider this beyond the mere 'I want to have gay sex' and consider those around you and the consequences that your actions will have.

Being in a relationship should be the more important thing. For some reason you do not view it as important, thus the problem may lie there and once you are out of the relationship you will cease to have a fascination with gay sex.

[Manchester28uk]

Hi again, thanks for the reply.

I don't find men attractive. I find the act of Gay Sex a turn on however. I am not contemplating having a gay relationship. However I just want to 'box' my self if you will.

Haven't ruled out bi sexuality at all. But as it stands I am a steaight guy in a straight relationship. Yes I masturbate to gay porn, but that does not make me gay.

[LateBloomer]

Hi again, thanks for the reply.

I don't find men attractive. I find the act of Gay Sex a turn on however. I am not contemplating having a gay relationship. However I just want to 'box' my self if you will.

Haven't ruled out bi sexuality at all. But as it stands I am a steaight guy in a straight relationship. Yes I masturbate to gay porn, but that does not make me gay.

I totally understand the "box".

Problem is, it's so friggin confining.

Advice: avoid putting yourself in a box. It might as well be a corner. There's no freedom there.

Good luck and stick around. Your experiences might help someone else.