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How do you come out of the closet?
#11
After about five years of heart ache I woke up and thought I couldn't take it anymore so I sat down with my parents and told them. They accepted me totally and I feel honoured and special to have them as my parents. After about a week I feel more confident in myself and feel like I have a future.
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#12
Kharma Wrote:Like how do you go and tell them?You wake up and go and be like 'mom,dad i am gay' ?
How do u do that?

I was a complete basket case when I came out to the majority of my family and friends. The basic coming out conversation that I had with the people I came out to went something like this.

Me: Hey (persons name) I need to tell you something.
Them: Okay what is up?
Me: You are my (brother/mother/father/ETC.) and I want you to know that I love you. That will never change. I have thought long and hard about this and what I want to tell you is that Im gay.
Them: Okay that is cool. I love you too.

Ninety nine percent of the people I told were supportive but that is not always the case. I could not come out to my parents face to face because we live nine hundred miles apart. Right after I told my mom she asked "Are you sure you are gay?". I said "Yes Im sure mom". It took her awhile after I came out to get used to the idea but she has come around. When I told my father his exact words were "Oh boy" then he asked if I had found somebody yet. Both of my parents were supportive. I don't really talk to my father about it now. My mother on the other hand is one of my best friends and we can talk about anything.
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#13
Quote:I think alot of people are trained to see themselves as a reflection through someone else's eyes. My Advice to anyone...if you can avoid that misfortune...DO IT! Alot of human misery comes from seeing yourself though someone else's eyes.
Isn't that a part of being social? It's not so much training as instinctual. We even look at our peers for examples of how we should behave. But then, it's this kind of thing that allows our species to be socially powerful.

Me: "Did you ever think you were a lesbian mum?"
Mum: "No..."
Me: "Um... well... I'm gay!"
Mum: *long pause* "Ok, well you're still young, so I'm not sure you know..."
Me: "Well I like men, and I don't like women, so that pretty much makes me gay"
Mum: "Ok, well it's your life so it's your choice"
Me: "It's not a choice, it's just how I feel"
Mum: Etc
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#14
I came out to my friends during high school. They all accepted me and all that so haven't lost any over that issue. I then came out to my sister, she had a ball with that. Then my mother last December. Turns out my grandmother had guessed it from my two trips to visit her, and most of her family loves me still, except for my uncle whos Joviah Witness. My mom though got very emotional and I stayed with a friend for a week while she got over it.
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#15
Isn't that a part of being social? It's not so much training as instinctual. We even look at our peers for examples of how we should behave. But then, it's this kind of thing that allows our species to be socially powerful.

Some of the finest human beings with the most potential to do great things are hindered by the opinions of others to the point it cripples them and destroys their spirit. I'm too fat...too ugly...this isn't right about me...that isn't right about me...it has done more damage than anything else to the evolution of the human being in my opinion. Negative self image is crippling to alot of people and negative self image begins with seeing yourself through other people's eyes.

Having said that...it is even more crippling to get approval versus rejection for trivial things like the way you look as though it has ANTHING to do with ANYTHING important in life.

I have also seen alot of people held prisoner by those who "accepted their sexuality" and subsequently allow those people to use their acceptance and approval to hold the person hostage emotionally...can you imagine giving a heterosexual acceptance or approval about their sexuality? Think about it.

Again...just my opinionWink
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