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I Dont Know When
#41
CrossNecklace Wrote:You think so?! Sweet! Thank you!

yeppers, I never say something I dont totally believe in.

Hope it goes well. But, if ya dont get to say it ya really should attend one of those meetings. Have you decided which one youre going to attend? Does the group give an age grouping for the Youth meeting?
#42
fjp999 Wrote:yeppers, I never say something I dont totally believe in.

Hope it goes well. But, if ya dont get to say it ya really should attend one of those meetings. Have you decided which one youre going to attend? Does the group give an age grouping for the Youth meeting?

Actually I have not decided which to attend. And yeah the youth meeting is i believe up to age 24 or 25...so i'm in there
#43
CrossNecklace Wrote:Actually I have not decided which to attend. And yeah the youth meeting is i believe up to age 24 or 25...so i'm in there

For some reason I wanna say check out the Youth group first... probably more in common will lead ya to relax more... probably everyone is gonna be kinda nervous but having more in common with each other will put ya all at ease.
#44
I'm with Frank on this one. I'd suggest the youth group first. It is a social group and not one with the same kind of mission and pressure that a "coming out" group might imply.
#45
CrossNecklace Wrote:"Hey dad. I know it's not healthy to keep things to myself. And you and Mom have taught us to share our feelings and tell you what's going on when we have problems. And you, yourself, was depressed once and you had to take therapy. So I'm at that point when I can't keep things to myself anymore. I know that you know and I guess you're just waiting for me to say...that...I'm...gay [deep breath]...and and there's this group meeting thing that's on Wednesday night that can maybe help me out. What do you think??"
...and what do you guys think???


Sounds absolutely great to me mister, best of luck and let us know how you get on

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
#46
Thanks guys I was thinking of joining the youth group first too.

Yeah. I'm kinda nervous today. Like the feeling when I have to give a speech in my speech class. Today, my mom is going to work and my brother will be at school. So it'll just be me and my dad at home. I hope I go on with it.
#47
All right guys. Cry
Wasn't how I expected it to be. I thought when I tell my dad that I was gay that we'd just laugh it off, no worries...wrong. So this is how it happened. :frown:

So I worked my way slowly into telling him I'm gay. My dad hurt his back at his work so he got a surgery but he couldnt go back to work cuz his back was still in pain. He really can't do much. Anyways, my brothers and I were like 13 then and we never visited him at the hospital during the surgery. I started feeling guilty. And I took a deep breath and said.."what if we had come"...and I couldnt finish...I started crying. He asked me what I meant. But I couldn't finish and he started talking telling me that its ok and not to worry about it. Then he mentioned about his plans, about saving the money he earned and putting it into my older bro's college. But my bro went into military and my dad supported him, whatever he chose. Then I took another deep breath...and said, "Dad..like you supported him, I need your support too." I started crying again. I would say "it's hard to say it". then i just said, "dad i'm going to this meeting on wednesday." he asked what the meeting was for. I said, "Dad I know you already know that I'm gay."...I really thought that he did. he said, "What? You're gay? I didn't know that."...then i couldn't go on and started crying again. He asked me how i know. i just said that i just knew. He started telling me about when i was young that i was teased by my uncle and that he would call me a girl because i had this long pretty hair. anyways he got the idea that because of that i got the idea wrong about me being gay. he asked me what the meeting was for. i told him it was to help me and others like me. he was still in denial bout me being gay but he said that it doesnt change anything and that he still loves me. He also said that he was just scared for me because he knew that lots of bad things happen to gay people and they just dont understand. we stopped there because my brother came home. :frown:
#48
This morning he gave me a haircut and we didnt mention bout anything last night. Until he finished. He asked me if I told my mom yet, and i said no i havent. he asked if i wanted him to tell her. I said yes. then he asked if i wanted him to go with me to the meeting. i said no and that it's ok. I saw his eyes were teary. I felt so bad. i started to tear up too in the shower but i told myself to be strong. was this a good idea? should i have told him? but i knew that this day had to come one day. it just happened to be this day. on my way to school, i thought about my mom and how she might feel when she finds out from my dad, i started to tear up again and that i felt regret about coming out...but i knew i had to do it. when i came home from school, and after i ate, my dad talked to me again. He said that he told my mom. and that she was crying because she felt the same way as he did, that they were both scared for me and that there are people out there who don't know anything. He told me that he had bad experiences with gay people. He told me how they're pervert and that in the Philippines some gays would teach little kids how to be gay. i was thinking in my head that that's not possible, its not possible to turn a person gay. they are born that way. but i'm not really sure anymore. anyways he kept mentioning how maybe i'm getting the wrong idea since i was teased as a child. He told me that he and my mom loves me no matter what and how he was my dad and that he has to accept me for who i am. he also said i could always go to him and my mom for anything. i haven't told my bro but i will soon. by the way my mom just called. i havent talked to her cuz she's at work. but she said how i was doing. i said i was ok and i asked her how she was doing. she said just ok. she also asked me if i've told my friends. i said no. and that i dont need to tell them. but i know in my heart that i do.

guys i dont know what to do. it feels so awkward with my dad...and now with my mom. i think we're gonna have the talk again...but with both of them... tomorrow. i have to tell my younger bro before they talk to me so that he becomes aware of this. i know my bro would not care whther im gay or not. but that's kinda what i thought bout mom and dad.

guys tomorrow is the meeting. i hope i find good friends. i hope i find what im looking for.
#49
Clap Congratulations Clap

You done real good, NO GREAT! Really proud of you!

It may not seem best now but you just started down a road of inner peace. No matter what happens you should have great pride in what you did!

Your parents have taken it a lot better than many. My mom found out by accident while cleaning my sisters room. Sis had found a couple love letters and brought them to her room while I was at uni.

Mom called me to see if it was true. I said yes. She said: I am going to kill myself! and then hung up the phone!

I had to call her about half a dozen times trying to calm her down... she would go on about how she had been a horrible mother for this to happen, say she was gonna kill herself then hang up again and again. Finally I asked her if she still loved me. She said yes and realized that I was still her son and everything was fine.

Dad has always been accepting of anything as long as I wasnt hurting anyone...

I am sure that it will be uncomfortable for a while but that is just natural especially with you believing they knew all along. I think it is great that your dad asked about coming along to the meeting. Think it best ya go to the youth thing first and try to make friends and see what its all about then check out to see if there is a parent/child meeting. That would be great for you and your father and maybe mom. You could bring up topics such as the one your dad suggested about gays in the Philippines turning children gay... I too believe that gays are probably born with this preference for the same sex.

Really, it is just amazing what you have done and I hope that you come to acknowledge how strong you are! CONGRATS!


Bighug
#50
Thank you fjp.

It's been really hard for me so far. I hope you're right.

One of my friends just texted. I told her i was kinda not feeling good and that she asked why. i told her that im going through some tough times. Then she calls...i started tearing up. i had to hang up. i told her sorry but i can't talk right now cuz its hard for me to talk without tearing up.


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