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Long relationship but lacking sex...HELP!
#21
In my limited experience lack of sexual interaction has meant something was up. Either for me or the other person in the relationship. In each case it meant one or the other was losing interest in the relationship. I think it's very important to talk about it with your partner. The fact that you tried withdrawing your affection did not result in any questioning from him makes me think he is less invested in this relationship than you are. But unless you two have an honest and open conversation about what's happening, you won't know. Better to talk about it and get it all out in the open. I know it's scary and vulnerable but it is best for you to know, I think.

I hope this is something that the both of you can work on together and improve. You may never get the level of sexual interaction that you had in the initial stage of your relationship, but hopefully you can get to a point of satisfaction. Sex is not the most important part of a relationship but I think it's a pretty good barometer of how the relationship is doing as a whole.
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#22
well just an update, i am 90% sure there is no other man in the picture and have come to the conclusion that he just isn't into sexual activity as much as i....i don't know what to do and it only grows more frustrating by the day. i have totally given him the cold shoulder seeing if he would figure it out, i have asked nicely if he wanted to fool around, i teased him and got him aroused and nothing...ugh i really am getting so fed up that i'm getting to the point where i'm in a bad mood all day. and then the funny part or ironic part however you wanna look at it is that he asks me whats wrong, why are you being so grumpy...its like seriously?.....sighs. HELP!!! Sad
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#23
Hi untraceable,

It sounds like you've done everything you can to figure out where your bf stands on the matter. However, by giving him the cold shoulder you are only playing games; You want to be intimate with him but you are sending messages that are emotionally distancing. Instead, it's time for you to make some big decisions that only you can make. There is nothing wrong with needing sex to be an important part of a relationship at this point in your life. While you love your bf, you need to decide if you are getting everything you need from the relationship. You also need to factor in how you would feel without your bf in your life (Remember that it's often only seems greener on the other side). You should take some time to think about these questions in order to be comfortable with expressing your needs. Then, it's really time to have an open and honest conversation with your bf. Don't make this an issue of why he does not want to have sex. Instead, pose this as a problem about not having your own needs met by the relationship. Also, this should not take the form of an ultimatum. Rather this should be a conversation about making compromises between the both of you. Indeed, if you look around for the reasons that couples often fight, you will see that how often couples have sex is on the top of the list. Will he understand that this is an important issue for you? Will I be comfortable in the decisions we make together? These are the questions that should be going through your mind during the conversation. If either one of you cannot compromise or stick to thee terms of your agreement, then it's really time for you to think about leaving the relationship. Best of luck.
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#24
Thinking about leaving him and life without him is near to impossible I think well maybe not but from what I see right now it would really screw up my life entirely. He is so entwined in my life that it would be ripping half of my life right out of the picture. I have thought about it a lot and this weekend we went on a camping trip together which was nice because we both love the outdoors and he was a different person. No sex but boy did he flirt kiss and tease me a lot. This sort of thing is what confuses the heck out of me. Maybe this is just a rough patch. Maybe I'm thinking to much into it. Or maybe I need to come to the terms that every relationship has compromises and this i guess is one of them.....sighs....
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