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Phantom closet moments
#1
Today I was talking to my mother's friend, who is a lesbian and had been out for most of her adult life. No one was around, so we chatted about DIY coffee roasting, religion, stupid siblings, and the local gay community (or lack thereof). At one point, I brought up the flavor of coffee beans that are not completely roasted, and how they have a nuttier flavor than dark roasted coffee beans. She mentioned that she wasn't fond of nuts, like almonds or pecans, and I said I like trail mix. (i should mention she knows I'm out, and have been out for almost a year) Then she said, "Most gay men like that kind of stuff."

When she said it, my reflex closet panic put a gallon of ice in my gut, as if I didn't know she knew I was gay, and was absently worried about it. It passed almost immediately, since I realized it was more than a little stupid to concern myself with common information as if it were still confidential.

I pose this question: does this go on for long? I hate being scared like that.


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