Lesley72 Wrote:It's very narcisstic to think someone's sexuality only affects them and is only their business. It is also the business of whomever they have chosen to marry or be in a relationship with, as the years of their life are ticking away while the other is keeping secrets and wasting their time. I would love to elaborate, but those never post.

You are absolutely right, Lesley. What you describe is a life with someone built on a foundation of lies. Not only does it damage the marriage relationship but likely the relationship with children. Being secretive is dishonesty.
Is it at all possible that you are feeling something that just isn't there? Maybe you want to explain his behavior by defining his sexuality incorrectly? Maybe he is damaged or wounded in some way? Maybe his issues are not with sexuality? Maybe he is just not a very nice guy?
If you're guessing, imagine what we are doing.

True, he is very wounded and diagnosed with personality disorder. So, it is probably that. I wasn't asking based on fears, just wanted to get to the bottom of another lie. I think it has more to do with my control issues and wanting an answer to everything...and that isn't real life. I hate unresolved issues. As for being a repressed lesbian, lol, no sir. I like men very much. Women would be like doing it with my sister. I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners. I was hoping gay men might have a magical radar or something to help me out.

Lesley72 Wrote:I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners.

I'll bet you do, I didn't think you were a lesbian sweetheart, I was just trying to get a rise out of you. I was having a little fun that's all.

Lesley, Lesbian maybe a little similarity there? Lol

Haha! Yes, maybe I should've chosen my name more wisely lol.

Lesley72 Wrote:Haha! Yes, maybe I should've chosen my name more wisely lol.

There's no reason this can't be fun.

Lesley72 Wrote:True, he is very wounded and diagnosed with personality disorder. So, it is probably that. I wasn't asking based on fears, just wanted to get to the bottom of another lie. I think it has more to do with my control issues and wanting an answer to everything...and that isn't real life. I hate unresolved issues. As for being a repressed lesbian, lol, no sir. I like men very much. Women would be like doing it with my sister. I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners. I was hoping gay men might have a magical radar or something to help me out.

Glad you came around to it. If by radar you mean gaydar, it's kind of hard to have that unless we see him.

I don’t mean this in a horrible way, but I personally think it’s none of your business to figure out his sexuality. He’s your ex, not current husband. I understand the nature of feeling like you need to find resolution but I don’t really feel it’s something you should put emotional energy in, it’s a bit out of bounds in my personal opinion.

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(02-14-2017, 11:06 PM)Darius Wrote: Lesley, calm down.  We've all been there.  It's a frustrating form of moderation, I know.  One good thing about us is that you will never ask "are they gay or straight?".  We're friendly, open and we all have nice wieners.    What's not to love, right?

I don't have a weiner   lol.  but i do have nice boobs, hahaha I'm in the minority though so i guess most of us on here have weiners, lol.

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(02-15-2017, 11:37 PM)Lesley72 Wrote: True, he is very wounded and diagnosed with personality disorder. So, it is probably that. I wasn't asking based on fears, just wanted to get to the bottom of another lie. I think it has more to do with my control issues and wanting an answer to everything...and that isn't real life. I hate unresolved issues. As for being a repressed lesbian, lol, no sir. I like men very much. Women would be like doing it with my sister. I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners. I was hoping gay men might have a magical radar or something to help me out.

Lesley, maybe you just never tried the right woman  ....I kid of course. just messing with ya.

(02-13-2017, 10:44 PM)Lesley72 Wrote:  Now, I wonder if I completely missed that he is gay. ?? Thoughts? (I typed quickly, sorry if confusing.)

I would look at the dynamics of your relationship. Was he diagnosed as a sociopath or was that your conclusion? It not possible to know someone's orientation by traditional indicators (is he femme, straight-acting, have a certain way of laughing). Would you accept him if he is gay? Do you harbor bad-will or have some schadenfreude for his current situation? You've asked some very deep questions and some of them don't have answers. Please don't blame yourself for not "seeing" something that was invisible to start with. Best wishes