Thinking about others during sex

[ChadCoxRox]

What are you in counseling for and is there a connection between the "progress" you've made in therapy and the awareness you have of NOT being sexually turned on by your partner?

I"m going out on a limb here, but i'll bet that as you've worked thru some of your mental issues in therapy, you're also coming to understand that, perhaps, you are second-guessing your relationship with your bf.

Is sex the SOLE determning factor in a successful LTR - NO! Is NOT being sexually turned on by your partner of 8 years and feeling that sex is a burden or chore that you go thru to keep him happy (but it does nothing for you since he's not your "type" sexually), a problem? YES!

If you don't deal with this soon, one of 2 things is going to happen: You're going to cheat on him or he's going to cheat on you - and, unless you work thru this issue - i'm afraid you'll be "ok" with either of those 2 things happening - it's an exit strategy you're probably working thru!

Can you answer my first question? "What are you in counseling for and is there a connection between the "progress" you've made in therapy and the awareness you have of NOT being sexually turned on by your partner?"

Great reply though I'd clarify the two things that could happen into three. Third being you'll both spend you lifetime together unsatisfied, unfulfilled and/or unhappy. It's too short. If the matter is "big" enough to be a source of pain for you and he knows not of your pain...hmmmm...what does that say about the efficacy of the relationship? Staying together for common sense convenience is a trap that I know VERY well and it is nothing if it is not a WASTE and sad. Best wishes as you sort it out because the way you "appear" in this post you clearly deserve better and so does he IMO.