Can't stop thinking about him!

[archubbycub]

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me! I have a great guy in my life who loves me and practically worships the ground I walk on. And I love him just as much. And yet I keep finding myself thinking about my ex boyfriend so much. Especially here lately for some reason.

Why can't I let him go? I've talked to my current boyfriend about it, so he knows the situation and is ok with it. And it's not like I actually want to get back with my ex. I know it wouldn't be the same. It's just he keeps popping up in my head occasionally and when he does I get all these mixed emotions that drive me crazy.

I swear! Sigmund Freud would have a field day with me!!

[MisterTinkles]

Im no Siggie Freud, but here's what I got:

First, what is it exactly that is popping into your head? Is he doing something or saying something?
Wearing something special? Whats going on with him when you see him in your mind?

What are YOU doing when he pops into your mind? Are you doing specific things? Are you in a specific place? Is it at the same time each time you think of him?

Whats stressing you out? Whats going on in your life? Is there something between you and your boyfriend that isnt being talked about?

Are you feeling lonely for some reason?

What is it that your ex did for you, that the current BF doesnt do? (and dont tell me its nothing, cause you be a fibbin!!!)

Theres a trigger you have around you.....you have to figure out what that trigger is, if you want to stop it.

These questions are meant for you to answer to yourself personally, not reply in this forum.
Unless you think it would help you. But these are questions you have to ask yourself in order to find out whats going on, and what the trigger is.

[southbiochem]

The way I see it, you're probably reminescing all the good stuff that you had with that relationship...but, seeming how I don't know how that was, I maybe wrong...

Your current relationship sounds only amazing (I mean being able to be so honest with your current BF and him being so understanding...that's mutual love if I ever heard of it), so If there really is no underlying problem with the current BF, I would suggest that every time the old BF pops in your head you start to remember why is he an ex in the first place...there has to be a reason as to why you two ended it...so try to remember that, and how amazing your current relationship is...

How I helped a bit mile:

[archubbycub]

Thanks guys! You're right South. My boyfriend is an amazing guy! That's why I'm so glad he's in my life! As far as why my ex and I called it off, it was more him than me. He said that he was more interested in his career at this point and wanted to focus on that. I think it was more of a commitment issue on his part, but that's a whole other story.

I think some of the reason he's been on my mind so much lately is because it's coming up on the one year mark that he and I broke up. Plus, my BF and I drove over to the town where my ex lives the other night to visit a friend and we drove by his house! So wasn't ready for that!

But anyway, I'm definetly going to keep what you guys said in mind and keep working on the relationship I have. I think I just needed to get an outsiders perspective on all of this to get my head on straight. Or at least as straight as it can be!

[southbiochem]

I wish you all the best in your relationship mile:

[Unfulfilled1]

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me! I have a great guy in my life who loves me and practically worships the ground I walk on. And I love him just as much. And yet I keep finding myself thinking about my ex boyfriend so much. Especially here lately for some reason.

Why can't I let him go? I've talked to my current boyfriend about it, so he knows the situation and is ok with it. And it's not like I actually want to get back with my ex. I know it wouldn't be the same. It's just he keeps popping up in my head occasionally and when he does I get all these mixed emotions that drive me crazy.

I swear! Sigmund Freud would have a field day with me!!

They are exes for usually great reasons.

When my ex dumped me in 2000, I did not expect a call from him 7 years later. But I recall how he dumped me and why he had (he wasn't sure of his sexual orientation at the time. I was looking for Mr. Right. Still was in 2007...) Part of me was tempted, but a power outage ensured his phone number was irrevocably un-retrievable.

Exes might be good to keep as friends if the split was amicable, and my current boyfriend is still friends with his ex (whom I've met...), but never go back to an ex. You will have memories and reminders of why the split took place to begin with. Is that worth remembering so directly?

An ex is an ex for valid reasons. And in the past. Think of the present and future. That's all that properly matters. Their loss, regardless of who did the breaking up.


Freud would have a field week with me, BTW...