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Thinking about leaving bf
#21
I'd play both of your cars... oh wait. haha
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#22
Quote:I am about to turn 19 and I want to have a "fun" life.

Then why are you dating in the first place or seeking a relationship?

Risk taking is fun as well. So unlike everyone else around here who are way too responsible and hate anything remotely fun and risky, I advise throwing open your door and embrace your new roommate and see where it takes you.

Sure there is a chance that this can go epically wrong in many ways, there is also the chance that this can go epically right as well.

As for being ready for a move in sort of situation - that state of being never actually happens. Instead you just reach a point where you are willing to take the risk and allow it to happen - Damn the consequences, full steam ahead - yada yada yada.

Now I'm not saying you just jump in without rules and stuff. A few ground rules and a basic understanding is needed. For instance instead of saying 'sure, lets get married and play house now' make certain he understands that he is moving in as a friend and you both will see where it goes.

And you give him a reasonable amount of time to get his stuff together - job, more education, join the military whatever.

And little spoiler about life. People tend to regret more that which they didn't do over things they did. For instance my greatest regret is Bradley. 20/20 hindsight being what it is I find I refuses to jump at the chance to spend my life with a really great guy which had so much potential to be one of those epic love affairs.

Shame on me for being such a prude and refusing to take risks and live life....
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#23
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Then why are you dating in the first place or seeking a relationship?

Risk taking is fun as well. So unlike everyone else around here who are way too responsible and hate anything remotely fun and risky, I advise throwing open your door and embrace your new roommate and see where it takes you.

Sure there is a chance that this can go epically wrong in many ways, there is also the chance that this can go epically right as well.

As for being ready for a move in sort of situation - that state of being never actually happens. Instead you just reach a point where you are willing to take the risk and allow it to happen - Damn the consequences, full steam ahead - yada yada yada.

Now I'm not saying you just jump in without rules and stuff. A few ground rules and a basic understanding is needed. For instance instead of saying 'sure, lets get married and play house now' make certain he understands that he is moving in as a friend and you both will see where it goes.

And you give him a reasonable amount of time to get his stuff together - job, more education, join the military whatever.

And little spoiler about life. People tend to regret more that which they didn't do over things they did. For instance my greatest regret is Bradley. 20/20 hindsight being what it is I find I refuses to jump at the chance to spend my life with a really great guy which had so much potential to be one of those epic love affairs.

Shame on me for being such a prude and refusing to take risks and live life....

I honestly object to this answer because of the fact that there was no physical meeting between these two. This guy could be a serial killer for all we know.
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#24
buckeyeboi004 Wrote:I'd play both of your cars... oh wait. haha

Oh cars or cards... if you want to wash our cars while we play cards... sure be my guess LOL
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#25
Arkansota Wrote:I honestly object to this answer because of the fact that there was no physical meeting between these two. This guy could be a serial killer for all we know.

Or he could be a great guy.

I seriously doubt that after a year of contract that this guy is a serial killer. If he is one, he hasn't killed before, and he isn't going to get a second change because his methods are deplorable and all of that contact will result in his getting caught.
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#26
Dawneh Wrote:No, that's the thing. I know it's stupid to let him move in with me. But I also cant stand the thought of him being homeless. In the end I probably wont let him.... But it's just going to hurt both of us...

Aside from what everyone else who is against this has said, it sounds to me like this dude is trying to use you. I'd be very cautious and keep him at arm's length.

Chatting to someone online doesn't really give much insight into their reality. You've never met him - you don't really know anything about him.

As others have said, research some homeless shelters in his area, and pass the information on.
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#27
You've only talked to this person online. You've never met him.

I understand how online communications can sometimes create what feels like very strong bonds in a short amount of time, BUT...

Letting this person pressure you into letting him move in with you when, in truth, you don't really know jack shit about him other than whatever he's chosen to show you via online?

Very bad, very -dangerous- idea.
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#28
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Then why are you dating in the first place or seeking a relationship?

Risk taking is fun as well. So unlike everyone else around here who are way too responsible and hate anything remotely fun and risky, I advise throwing open your door and embrace your new roommate and see where it takes you.

Sure there is a chance that this can go epically wrong in many ways, there is also the chance that this can go epically right as well.

As for being ready for a move in sort of situation - that state of being never actually happens. Instead you just reach a point where you are willing to take the risk and allow it to happen - Damn the consequences, full steam ahead - yada yada yada.

Now I'm not saying you just jump in without rules and stuff. A few ground rules and a basic understanding is needed. For instance instead of saying 'sure, lets get married and play house now' make certain he understands that he is moving in as a friend and you both will see where it goes.

And you give him a reasonable amount of time to get his stuff together - job, more education, join the military whatever.

And little spoiler about life. People tend to regret more that which they didn't do over things they did. For instance my greatest regret is Bradley. 20/20 hindsight being what it is I find I refuses to jump at the chance to spend my life with a really great guy which had so much potential to be one of those epic love affairs.

Shame on me for being such a prude and refusing to take risks and live life....

I love you to pieces, I really, really do, but I've never been more in disagreement with you than now.
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#29
At least your mature enough to recognise there is trouble on the horizon should you allow him to move in with you.

He wants to move in because it's convenient for him, as he would be homeless otherwise.

Tbh, this is where the whole internet dating thing comes crashing down and really gives people a completely skewed view of what a relationship is all about. Having a digital BF is absolutely not the same as having an analogue one. I even find the concept of being in such a 'relationship' as very plastic and false, although I also recognise that some people seem to thrive on such a relationship.

I strongly suggest you but a halt to this whole idea of him moving in before it all ends in tears, and potentially serious consequences.

Good luck,
ObW
X
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#30
I think you need to meet up over a few drinks and actually get to know each other IRL before you make any decisions...and you should tell him that too.
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