08-17-2012, 07:31 PM
Most of sex takes place between the ears, not between the legs.
It is what we are thinking that makes sex either a bad experience or the best damn sex we ever had.
Many people think of other people - fantasize about having sex with another person while having same sex with their partner (all marriages/long term relationships are same sex).
We humans are wired for variety. humanity would not exist if we were strictly monogamous. Monogamy is a man-made construct that defies the natural order (for us). Monogamy does serve fore-brain needs, thus is needed to a point, but we have a large hind brain which developed (as well as our bodies) to spread the seed far and wide.
Males are more prone to look for other partners (mentally or physically) as we are designed to spread our seed as far and wide as possible. Even the shape of the penis and the act of all of that pumping is to 'suck-out' competing semen before depositing our own.
The rational part of your brain is seeking a long term monogamous relationship - monogamy does serve its purposes and makes higher brain thinking relationships work. However you are still dealing with that animal hind brain and it needs to be satisfied as well, thus the brain concocts stories of sex with other people in order to satisfy its need for variety at the same time providing us with that much needed monogamy by 'acting' like we are monogamous.
Few people openly discuss their fantasy(s). But we all have the from time to time, and the further you travel into a same-sex relationship, same sex day after day, week after week, month after month year after year... (Sounds horrible no? :biggrin
the more fantasizes are going to play out.
This is why couple's counselors are keen on throwing out role playing to couples - break the monotony, make it feel like 'new sex' with a 'new' person. If your man never wears leather and suddenly dons a leather harness, a leather cup and a leather cap suddenly you are having sex with a brand new, interesting person....
Always understand that sex is supposed to be the icing on the cake. The cake is the other aspects of your relationship, the love, commitment, companionship, co-worker/co-player roles you have in all of the other aspects of the relationship.
If your only problem is he is not your physical type, then you are doing far better than many other couples who have serious conflicts between personalities and behaviors that a little mind masturbation can't fix.
It is what we are thinking that makes sex either a bad experience or the best damn sex we ever had.
Many people think of other people - fantasize about having sex with another person while having same sex with their partner (all marriages/long term relationships are same sex).
We humans are wired for variety. humanity would not exist if we were strictly monogamous. Monogamy is a man-made construct that defies the natural order (for us). Monogamy does serve fore-brain needs, thus is needed to a point, but we have a large hind brain which developed (as well as our bodies) to spread the seed far and wide.
Males are more prone to look for other partners (mentally or physically) as we are designed to spread our seed as far and wide as possible. Even the shape of the penis and the act of all of that pumping is to 'suck-out' competing semen before depositing our own.
The rational part of your brain is seeking a long term monogamous relationship - monogamy does serve its purposes and makes higher brain thinking relationships work. However you are still dealing with that animal hind brain and it needs to be satisfied as well, thus the brain concocts stories of sex with other people in order to satisfy its need for variety at the same time providing us with that much needed monogamy by 'acting' like we are monogamous.
Few people openly discuss their fantasy(s). But we all have the from time to time, and the further you travel into a same-sex relationship, same sex day after day, week after week, month after month year after year... (Sounds horrible no? :biggrin
the more fantasizes are going to play out.This is why couple's counselors are keen on throwing out role playing to couples - break the monotony, make it feel like 'new sex' with a 'new' person. If your man never wears leather and suddenly dons a leather harness, a leather cup and a leather cap suddenly you are having sex with a brand new, interesting person....
Always understand that sex is supposed to be the icing on the cake. The cake is the other aspects of your relationship, the love, commitment, companionship, co-worker/co-player roles you have in all of the other aspects of the relationship.
If your only problem is he is not your physical type, then you are doing far better than many other couples who have serious conflicts between personalities and behaviors that a little mind masturbation can't fix.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
