Thinking about others during sex

[Colorfulme]

Do you love him?

Surely that's the biggest turn-on of all.

I do, though sometimes it feels more platonic.

What are you in counseling for and is there a connection between the "progress" you've made in therapy and the awareness you have of NOT being sexually turned on by your partner?

I"m going out on a limb here, but i'll bet that as you've worked thru some of your mental issues in therapy, you're also coming to understand that, perhaps, you are second-guessing your relationship with your bf.

Is sex the SOLE determning factor in a successful LTR - NO! Is NOT being sexually turned on by your partner of 8 years and feeling that sex is a burden or chore that you go thru to keep him happy (but it does nothing for you since he's not your "type" sexually), a problem? YES!

If you don't deal with this soon, one of 2 things is going to happen: You're going to cheat on him or he's going to cheat on you - and, unless you work thru this issue - i'm afraid you'll be "ok" with either of those 2 things happening - it's an exit strategy you're probably working thru!

Can you answer my first question? "What are you in counseling for and is there a connection between the "progress" you've made in therapy and the awareness you have of NOT being sexually turned on by your partner?"

I went to therapy to help resolve our relationship issues and for non-related social anxiety. We've made our communication better, which is what I've seen improvement on. However, I've felt these feelings of not being turned on by him sexually since the early days of our relationship. There's a time when you can easily admit it and when that window passes, it becomes so painful to admit and makes me feel like an awful person