Thinking about others during sex

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In short, monogamy satisfies both our emotional and intellectual side, assuming our partner is living up to his end of the relationship. When that isn't the case it's another ballgame entirely.

But our instinct to reproduce (yeah I know gay and can't really do that) drives us to seek the best physical partner we can imagine. Just that when you're gay, that translates to someone of your gender is all.

Nothing wrong with imagining someone else while with your monogamous partner, and of course when you're soling. Where it might be an indication of a problem is if you are fantasizing about an emotional connection beyond sex with another, then maybe your partner isn't giving you all you need and, you really do need to talk about it.