Thinking about others during sex

[Zennyboy]

I wanted to get some other guys opinions about something I've thought about for years. You see I've been in a relationship for 8 years. It's been fairly decent but for nearly a year I've been in counseling working though problems, to some success luckily

Is it normal to fantasize about other guys when having sex with your partner? If I'm truly honest with myself, I've rarely gotten turned by him. For this reason he usually has to initiate anything which is frustrating and leaves me constantly using porn to get off. It sounds so shallow but I don't find him cute. He's not my "type" necessarily in looks.

Luckily we get along amazingly and that makes up for what doesn't occur in the bedroom or even affectionately. I tell myself looks fade and a life companion is more important, usually that works. However I fall into this pattern after reading a book, seeing a movie, hearing about someone else's relationship, etc. that make me feel like something is missing. If anyone has any thoughts I'd be so happy to hear them.

This i do see as normal. Let me explain though

No one, can ever deny they have been curious. Its called the "What if" Factor

Now you can be insanely in love with the guy or girl of your dreams, they turn you on, they complete you worlds etc etc etc

But you will still have Fantasies.

Now it is a well known fact, that more than one person will turn you on in your lifetime. Those who is a single dedicated soul to their partner is normally out of morale respect and dedication, even if they notice a fine ass walking the other side of the road, their mind flicks right back to their partner, and especially "was i caught looking"

Now i have a firm belief in this, i have never done short term relationships. EVER. They have always been 5 years and above, one definitly leaves a mark.

Now before i had even come to terms with me being gay i dated girls, i think alot of gay men tend to do this before coming to terms. I dated a girl called Carleen, and boy she was beautiful, lush long blond her, get head on her shoulders, and deeply romantic. I blew the relationship up, because i wanted to spend all my time with her. I was obsessive. It threw a childhood romance out the window.

But because she came clean with me, i learnt from my mistake, never to supressing on anyone, whether friend, girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever.

So when i finally met my boyfriend, the guy im so madly in love with to this very moment, i made one thing clear, firstly, i didnt care if he looked at other guys. for one i dont think im that attractive and count my lucky stars to have this guy in my life in the first place. but the rule of look but no touch stands.

I wanted him to go out, whenever and where ever he wanted, not be like one of my friends who wants to know where his girlfriend is at all times, and controls the cloths she goes out in because he doesnt want other guys eyeing her up. No i want my man to feel free and relaxed and enjoy his life how he wants.

Now there was a time when we started going out, he may have done something with another lad, a lad he fancied before going out with me, he told me about it, and i was like "I dont care, what practice you had works out better for me " and im honest, i didnt care, though i asked him not to do it again, most people storm out on someone when this kind of thing happens.

I have fantasies as much as the next person, its completely in our nature, and its only in the constructs of religion and stuff that we have become confind.

That is why i live freely, and if there is a god, then he will not have wanted anyone to live in a cage, whether physically or mentally.

Agree with me or disagree with me, wont change my point of view, because with this, at least me and my Fiancè can walk to the shops, pass a good looking guy and talk about it, rather than trying to conceal it from each other that we just eyed someone up. Its a great laugh when we have complete opposite opinions.