Meet A Great Guy, Makes more then me?

[Anocxu]

I am in this situation now. My BF of 4 years knows I have more money than he does, but he doesn't really know the extent of it, because I live a modest life way below my means. When I met him he didn't have a phone or a car because he couldn't afford them. I put up with that because I liked him. I work because I like to; he works because he has to.

Frankly I find it annoying when he offers to pay for things when I have 600x what he does. I would much rather he let me buy dinner and he put that money he would have spent into his retirement fund. Since he's way younger he's got time on his side for small sums of money to compound into something significant. I am older and no one in my family will ever need my money, so I just want to enjoy life however I choose. Why he tries to make things equal is absurd when the reality is that financially they are not. If we were to split our expenses 50/50 then it would mean I would have to live like I have nearly nothing. I don't want to live that way.

Take trips for example. If I want to go to a far away destination, I need airfare, hotel, and rental car. If I bring my BF along the only difference in expenses is one more airfare and a bunch of meals. The hotel and rental car costs are the same. Incrementally it's not 2x the cost for 2 people to go on a trip than 1 person to go alone. Every time I talk about a big trip, my BF says he can't afford it, even though I've said I will pay for it. I get tired of him talking about money when I am talking about destinations and experiences. And I tell him so. It is not fair to me if I want to take a trip with him and I am happy to pay for it that we not go on the trip so our expenditures are 50/50.

Direct communication is key. If your BF is fine with paying for a lot more things than you do, please just accept it and don't make a big deal out of it. If your boyfriend is holding his money over you like it something significant, then he's a creep and you should get out of that situation. Don't make a big deal over the money if it's not a big deal to your guy.

Be aware that some guys will pretend to be wealthy but in fact are just hugely in debt. Just because someone has a nice car and a nice house doesn't mean it's paid off!

Finally, don't go around telling people your BF is loaded. It's tacky.

So the recurring issue here is based on dishonesty?

What am I reading? ??
1)You have waaaaay more money than your guy...

2) He has no clue HOW WEALTHY YOU ARE..

3) He constantly tries to compensate based on the lack of info ON your finances...

4) Whenever he makes an effort to compensate or pay his part
... It Annoys YOU?

5) Then you package this discomboulation into an editorial ... post it on Gay Speak ...and call it advice?

Hiding your money is one thing...
Why would you be annoyed with your boyfriend when he tries to pay his part? You explain yourself as if you are down right insulted by his 'measly" contributions ?

If you read this thread properly. ..
A scenario like this is one the opening poster needs to avoid.