Sex might end my relationship - please help!

[TigerLover]

Ok no offence buddy but you and your Bf need to calm the heck down.

It's only natural that you would have these problems after what you've been through. Some part of your brain has associated anal sex with infections and painful chemical burns. So it's no surprise that you're tensing up.

As long as everything is physically in tact and it's only this inability to relax that's preventing you from enjoying penetrative sex then frankly breaking up would be a ridiculous nuclear option.

Now you could go talk to a therapist or maybe try couples councilling if you can talk your boyfriend into it.

But maybe also try:

• scented candles
  
• playing sachmo at low volume in the background
  
• Getting your partner to give you a massage.
  
• Regularly fantasising about all the good sex you've had with your partner in the past.
  
• Watching pornography together
  
• taking a relaxing soapy bath just before sex.
  

This literally just a list off the top of my head. Try these things before you decide to break up. But I'm sure that there are plenty of things you already know that help relax you. So try them and most all be patient.