Gender Identity and Sexuality

[Dreamer]

well firstly thx for posting such personal feeling and thoughts ...not easy for way too many people so you may well be helping others here...

is there a specific reason for posting ? was there a spark or situation that made you want to post your status ?

this question is a strange one from someone who has never met someone Nuetrois , trans or asexual etc - What clothing do you where at home or in public , is there a difference - do you dress as male/female neutral or mix as suits the situation - my question is not meant to offend but as I have no base of reference I wanted to ask to educate myself on someone with a different identity to myself

My reason for posting this? I've gone through some severe trauma in my life, this year. It seemed to have reawakened theses deeply suppressed issues, and my therapist encouraged me to continue exploring it, for once in my life to prevent another suicide attempt.

It's hard, especially with everything online spewing hate regarding stupid ego-driven kids on Tumblr and youtube who identify as Non-binary aces likes myself, making the whole topic of non-binary look ridiculous as fuck. Unlike them, I'm no "social-warrior" pussy who gets hyped up on the drama of labels and responding to trolls who "trigger" them, thus, making everyday folks like myself look bad.

It sucks knowing it's a big joke to most people because they group all gender queer individuals in one dimension. The memes are the most irritating; "I'm a helicopter" type shit... it's stupid..

I dress like a "normal" male to uphold my cisgendered facade; making life easier and safer. But if I could choose without repercussions to my daily life, I'd wear unisex-type clothing, and uphold the taking away of my gender features by shaving off all of my body hair, (including my eyebrows), paint my nails in a sloppy punk way, wear my eyeliner and matte lipstick because that's what seems to calm my self-hatred. I guess it's sort of an "alien" type expression.