Hi, Mikeoz. Welcome to GS.
Does your partner know that you're meeting other guys for fun? Things get complicated if you're cheating on him. From what you said, you seem to claim the responsibility of taking care of your ill partner since you have been together for almost two decades. You do so since you, and I quote, "feel obliged to remain in this relationship and see it through" while "he no longer fulfills [your] emotional and physical needs". I doubt whether this still counts as "relationship" as there's no affections, no royalty, and no faithfulness.
In my humble opinion, this can be boiled down to the conflict between morality and humanity. On the one hand, you find yourself guilty of the possibility that you're about to abandon your partner, especially when he "has been a very good to me [sic.]”. On the other hand, you, as a man in his forties, need regular sex just like everyone else.
In terms of morality, there's no true account of what is right or wrong. Some may argue that our moral judgments are the sorts of things that can be true or false while others contend our moral judgments are only true or false relative to something that can vary from person to person, culture to culture. I find it hard to catch your idea of morality, for you "met other guys for fun" (which is morally condemned provided that we all agree that love affair is dubious) but at the same time "could not walk away from [your partner] at this time when he needs [you] the most" (which is, contrary to your disloyalty, morally praiseworthy). I think that may be the "dilemma".
As to humanity, I am particularly talking about Xunzi, an ancient Chinese philosopher, who believes that humanity’s inborn tendencies are evil and that ethical norms have been invented to rectify people. You have every reason to have fun with other guys since you need to satiate your emotional and sexual desire.
I think such conflict lies in the core of your frustration as you have been thinking about “moving on from [this] long term relationship” but unable to do so out of moral concern.
In that case, it is really helpful if you can clarify to yourself these questions below:
1. What do you think of morality?
2. What kind of feelings do you have for your partner now? Is it just out of obligation or love?
3. What is your idea of the contradiction (at least to me) that you cheat on him while taking care of him as his monogamous partner?
4. Which one matters more, morality or humanity?
Most importantly, have you ever talked to your partner about how you feel right now?
By the way, is is true that you were dating your partner while he was 12? I mean... you said you had a 18-year relationship with him (30-year-old). Mathematically, he must be 12. Wow...
Quote:Friendly reminder: some of your posts will be moderated if you have less than 50 posts altogether. You might wanna head to the "word game" thread to get your 50-post benchmark.
Does your partner know that you're meeting other guys for fun? Things get complicated if you're cheating on him. From what you said, you seem to claim the responsibility of taking care of your ill partner since you have been together for almost two decades. You do so since you, and I quote, "feel obliged to remain in this relationship and see it through" while "he no longer fulfills [your] emotional and physical needs". I doubt whether this still counts as "relationship" as there's no affections, no royalty, and no faithfulness.
In my humble opinion, this can be boiled down to the conflict between morality and humanity. On the one hand, you find yourself guilty of the possibility that you're about to abandon your partner, especially when he "has been a very good to me [sic.]”. On the other hand, you, as a man in his forties, need regular sex just like everyone else.
In terms of morality, there's no true account of what is right or wrong. Some may argue that our moral judgments are the sorts of things that can be true or false while others contend our moral judgments are only true or false relative to something that can vary from person to person, culture to culture. I find it hard to catch your idea of morality, for you "met other guys for fun" (which is morally condemned provided that we all agree that love affair is dubious) but at the same time "could not walk away from [your partner] at this time when he needs [you] the most" (which is, contrary to your disloyalty, morally praiseworthy). I think that may be the "dilemma".
As to humanity, I am particularly talking about Xunzi, an ancient Chinese philosopher, who believes that humanity’s inborn tendencies are evil and that ethical norms have been invented to rectify people. You have every reason to have fun with other guys since you need to satiate your emotional and sexual desire.
I think such conflict lies in the core of your frustration as you have been thinking about “moving on from [this] long term relationship” but unable to do so out of moral concern.
In that case, it is really helpful if you can clarify to yourself these questions below:
1. What do you think of morality?
2. What kind of feelings do you have for your partner now? Is it just out of obligation or love?
3. What is your idea of the contradiction (at least to me) that you cheat on him while taking care of him as his monogamous partner?
4. Which one matters more, morality or humanity?
Most importantly, have you ever talked to your partner about how you feel right now?
By the way, is is true that you were dating your partner while he was 12? I mean... you said you had a 18-year relationship with him (30-year-old). Mathematically, he must be 12. Wow...
生年不满百，
常怀千岁忧。
昼短苦夜长，
何不秉烛游。
常怀千岁忧。
昼短苦夜长，
何不秉烛游。
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
