Attention from the same-sex (without sexual tension)

[LateBloomer]

So it's the holidays, and while I wish I was having a holly-jolly time with the boyfriend, unfortunately he does not exist.

I gave up looking for guys on Adam4Adam and Manhunt about two months ago and have deleted my accounts on them. I realized I was on those sites more for attention than for actually hooking up (I used to think I was just picky but I realized that it was more of an attention thing after I stopped looking). I really don't like hook-up sex; it feels forced and while it's hot for about the first 10 minutes I lose....potency....if I feel pressured to perform. I'd rather be with a long-term boyfriend that I feel relaxed around and that the sex is more spontaneous rather than forced.

I don't really have any prospects on OkCupid, so I'm not currently talking to anybody. While I don't consider myself an attention-whore, I wish I had a guy to talk to/share attnetion with during the holiday season. I'm going to Provincetown, MA, for New Years, by myself, but it'd be sweeter to be with someone.

Is there a way to talk/flirt with guys without feeling like a piece of meat (which is what the above websites and going to the bars make me feel like)? I'm frustrated constantly because of this, both sexually and psychologically. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. Any advice?

I think the best advice I've heard is to just take interest in YOUR OWN life.

Live an active and interesting life and other people will find that attractive.

And I'm not suggesting that you seem to live an dull and miserable life, quite the opposite. But I am hoping that you never give up. Frustration is normal. Just don't get bitter and give up.

Best,