02-12-2012, 08:19 PM
So basically what you are asking is it OK to cheat while in a relationship that has 'issues of personalities'?
You will, most likely, discover in each relationship you get into that there is a period of intense intimacy followed by a period when intimacy, closeness all but dies.
If you run away in this relationship, hook up with another guy because the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you will never learn the skills you need to deal with this sort of issue in relationships. Thus each relationship you get into will reach this 'cold snap' and you will run.
Stay in this relationship - tentatively yes. Just wait for things to change - well that won't work, because things will not get better on their own.
You and your current partner must first agree there is a problem, then you two must take steps to work on that problem.
Agreeing there is a problem is a matter of perspective. Your current partner may not see all of this as a problem, he may see it as a perfect and natural way that relationships develop.
How you go about fixing that depends on you two. I would suggest couples counseling - perhaps the only reason why I am in a 15 year long relationship is due to the fact we went to couples counseling and still go occasionally to 'tune up' the relationship especially when outside problems are raging and we are feeling the gap of distance opening up between us.
Mind you both have your own sets of luggage you carry with you. We all carry luggage. Most people have a duffel bag or a minor backpack - I have the full set of baggage, requiring two bellhops to check in :biggrin:
I can think of at least a dozens reasons why your BF could be acting the way he is. And most of them have nothing to do with love of you or desire to be in or out of your relationship, most of them are due to how society teaches us males to be men, with the remainder being composed of traditional myths about how relationships work.
This last is largely due to the fairytale ended. And they lived happily ever after.....
No they didn't, they fought, they struggled, there was a long period of cold power struggle. They let their masks down and we found out that Prince Charming was not at all a charming person, he farted, picked his nose, left his socks all over the place, while the Bride was actually a lazy woman who didn't know how to cook and who wanted a career and children at the same time - always biting off more than she could chew.
Prince Charming ended up working way too many hours in the Castle, while the bride ended up languishing at home wanting prince charming to sweep her off her feet again and again. Or she got so absorbed with her own career she didn't notice that Charming was actually hitting the booze harder as he tried to deal with the financial burden of two mortgages, two carriages blah.
There is never a happily ever after...
You will, most likely, discover in each relationship you get into that there is a period of intense intimacy followed by a period when intimacy, closeness all but dies.
If you run away in this relationship, hook up with another guy because the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you will never learn the skills you need to deal with this sort of issue in relationships. Thus each relationship you get into will reach this 'cold snap' and you will run.
Stay in this relationship - tentatively yes. Just wait for things to change - well that won't work, because things will not get better on their own.
You and your current partner must first agree there is a problem, then you two must take steps to work on that problem.
Agreeing there is a problem is a matter of perspective. Your current partner may not see all of this as a problem, he may see it as a perfect and natural way that relationships develop.
How you go about fixing that depends on you two. I would suggest couples counseling - perhaps the only reason why I am in a 15 year long relationship is due to the fact we went to couples counseling and still go occasionally to 'tune up' the relationship especially when outside problems are raging and we are feeling the gap of distance opening up between us.
Mind you both have your own sets of luggage you carry with you. We all carry luggage. Most people have a duffel bag or a minor backpack - I have the full set of baggage, requiring two bellhops to check in :biggrin:
I can think of at least a dozens reasons why your BF could be acting the way he is. And most of them have nothing to do with love of you or desire to be in or out of your relationship, most of them are due to how society teaches us males to be men, with the remainder being composed of traditional myths about how relationships work.
This last is largely due to the fairytale ended. And they lived happily ever after.....
No they didn't, they fought, they struggled, there was a long period of cold power struggle. They let their masks down and we found out that Prince Charming was not at all a charming person, he farted, picked his nose, left his socks all over the place, while the Bride was actually a lazy woman who didn't know how to cook and who wanted a career and children at the same time - always biting off more than she could chew.
Prince Charming ended up working way too many hours in the Castle, while the bride ended up languishing at home wanting prince charming to sweep her off her feet again and again. Or she got so absorbed with her own career she didn't notice that Charming was actually hitting the booze harder as he tried to deal with the financial burden of two mortgages, two carriages blah.
There is never a happily ever after...
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