03-12-2012, 07:30 AM
Just a little update for anyone who is interested.
On Thursday night, me and Vince were hanging out (I was on spring break so I actually had some free time) in his car, smoking a joint and stuff. He had dragged me out to a bar to meet all of his work friends, but I was in a really bad mood because I had been getting annoyed with the distance of our relationship, and never really being able to talk, and how I was getting anxiety over wondering if he would start to fall for me and that I would (as usual) not develop the same feelings. Anyways I had been mulling that all over in my head for like a week, and he could tell by my sour mood that something was up so I told him everything I was thinking.
It started with me talking about us, and but developed into something a lot more deep. We started talking about our deepest darkest secrets, and I don't even know why. He told me something that he's only told one other person in his entire life. And then he told me that he would probably give up on relationships for a good long time if we didn't work out, because he was getting burnt out from it all. And as I looked over at him, as he was nervously fidgeting with his hair, and how he still smiled at me every time I looked at him even though I was being a little shit, and I had one of those "crashing down on your head" sort of moments. I realized the realness of him, of how he had an entire life history, and how he had an entire future ahead of him still. And I realized I really cared about what happened to him, like REALLY cared. So I decided, thinking back on what you guys said, that I really was ready to be real with someone, and be committed to someone, and I decided I wanted it to be with Vince. And I told him that. So far, since that revelation we haven't had much time to talk, but even a few days after the fact, I still feel pretty strongly resolved. Unfortunately I now won't see him for a week and a half, but for some reason I'm not worried about it anymore. I just have this feeling that things are only going to get better over time. So thanks everyone for calling me out, cuz it was really needed, and helped me more than I even realized at first.
On Thursday night, me and Vince were hanging out (I was on spring break so I actually had some free time) in his car, smoking a joint and stuff. He had dragged me out to a bar to meet all of his work friends, but I was in a really bad mood because I had been getting annoyed with the distance of our relationship, and never really being able to talk, and how I was getting anxiety over wondering if he would start to fall for me and that I would (as usual) not develop the same feelings. Anyways I had been mulling that all over in my head for like a week, and he could tell by my sour mood that something was up so I told him everything I was thinking.
It started with me talking about us, and but developed into something a lot more deep. We started talking about our deepest darkest secrets, and I don't even know why. He told me something that he's only told one other person in his entire life. And then he told me that he would probably give up on relationships for a good long time if we didn't work out, because he was getting burnt out from it all. And as I looked over at him, as he was nervously fidgeting with his hair, and how he still smiled at me every time I looked at him even though I was being a little shit, and I had one of those "crashing down on your head" sort of moments. I realized the realness of him, of how he had an entire life history, and how he had an entire future ahead of him still. And I realized I really cared about what happened to him, like REALLY cared. So I decided, thinking back on what you guys said, that I really was ready to be real with someone, and be committed to someone, and I decided I wanted it to be with Vince. And I told him that. So far, since that revelation we haven't had much time to talk, but even a few days after the fact, I still feel pretty strongly resolved. Unfortunately I now won't see him for a week and a half, but for some reason I'm not worried about it anymore. I just have this feeling that things are only going to get better over time. So thanks everyone for calling me out, cuz it was really needed, and helped me more than I even realized at first.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
