I think I can relate to what you're going through, at least somewhat, though I'm not really sure if it's for the same reasons or not. I've also always found myself with very little ability to connect to people emotionally. It's not to say that I don't feel like I have any emotions, so much as I've always kept them to myself, and feel VERY uncomfortable talking about them to anyone. People have often described me as stoic, which I think is pretty accurate. However, the older I got, and the more I had on my plate to deal with, the harder and harder it was for me to keep my feelings to myself, and I also started to feel very lonely (even though I have a lot of friends, I've never really felt that close with any of them).
I finally started to wonder why it was that I found it so hard to connect with people. I'm generally fairly capable of talking to people and making friends. I'm a very caring person in that I really do care about the well being of others, even of strangers. I started to self diagnose myself with a string of mental disorders, from anxiety, to personality disorders, and honestly was driving my own self insane. Finally, I realized something pretty profound about myself. I'm a very independent person, and also very guarded, so letting people in is something I'm not good at, or comfortable with, but it is also something absolutely necessary to me being happy. In my desire to classify what was wrong with me, I realized that I was really just looking for more excuses not to do the thing that I struggled with the most, and was the most scared to do, which is open myself up to people. I realized that there isn't anything wrong with me, and I, like every other person in this world, have strengths and weaknesses. I have things I need to work on, and I can't expect them to get better unless I actually admit that I'm the one holding myself back.
I can't say that you're making excuses for yourself, or even if you find it necessary to get over this problem (though that's unlikely as why would you make a topic about it if you didn't want to fix it?). If you think you are, however, then I would highly recommend trying to put yourself out there more. Maybe with your family first, or maybe with just a couple friends who you know to be more trust-worthy. Maybe even with just some random people on the internet. But do it, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if by opening up, you think you sound whiny and annoying (that's what I thought). But don't keep everything to yourself. It's just not a healthy way to live at all. I'm now dating someone (I've date quite a few guys, but have never really developed any deep love for them, and in some cases nothing at all). I can't say whether he's the one for me, or anything will come of it, but I am making an honest attempt at actually letting him in, and so far, while really stressful, it is very rewarding. I hope you can do the same with someone, as I think once I finally find it, being in love will be one of the most rewarding things I can do with my life, and I think most people would agree. Hope my post helps!
PS. sorry bout the length
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