I have a friend with benefits, and he's coming over today so we can have some fun, and I feel nervous. I always feel nervous when a guy is about to come over to fuck and I don't know why. Cause once the fun starts I don't feel nervous anymore.
The thing is, I don't feel nervous when a woman is coming over to have some fun, but when its a guy I feel nervous. Anyone else have feeling of being nervous?
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AlephNull Wrote:I have a friend with benefits, and he's coming over today so we can have some fun, and I feel nervous. I always feel nervous when a guy is about to come over to fuck and I don't know why. Cause once the fun starts I don't feel nervous anymore.
The thing is, I don't feel nervous when a woman is coming over to have some fun, but when its a guy I feel nervous. Anyone else have feeling of being nervous?
Well, I wouldn't know about either, cause I'm still pure  lol and I don't find women sexually attractive  .
Perhaps with a woman, you know how it's going to go down? I.E- She's automatically going to bottom for you (unless she likes to strap-on) and there's no question of who's going to top or bottom who.
With a man, there can be that moment when it's like, you lay down on your back and he is about to do the same thing or you try to get on top of him, when he's trying to get on top of you.
I really don't know. Maybe it's your brain telling you something?
The way I see it, if you love your body, you shouldn't feel nervous about anything sexual.
Someone more experienced than me (so basically everybody) would know better.
Just breath and relax I guess would be my suggestion? :biggrin: .
(Don't you think you should be getting ready and not on the computor? He's going to walk in and be like "get off that computor and get on the bed" lol.)
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QueenOdi Wrote:Well, I wouldn't know about either, cause I'm still pure lol and I don't find woman sexually attractive .
Perhaps with a woman, you know how it's going to go down? I.E- She's automatically going to bottom for you (unless she likes to strap-on) and there's no question of who's going to top or bottom who.
With a man, there can be that moment when it's like, you lay down on your back and he is about to do the same thing or you try to get on top of him, when he's trying to get on top of you.
I really don't know. Maybe it's your brain telling you something?
The way I see it, if you love your body, you shouldn't feel nervous about anything sexual.
Someone more experienced than me (so basically everybody) would know better.
Just breath and relax I guess would be my suggestion? :biggrin: .
(Don't you think you should be getting ready and not on the computor? He's going to walk in and be like "get off that computor and get on the bed" lol.) Thanks for the reply. I don't know what my body woould try and be telling me. The thing is, if I were nervous the whole time I would be able to say "nope, I definitely don't like guys", but im only nervous until he gets here. Once we pull the pants down, and get down to business, it feels just as natural as sex with a girl to me.
(oh BTW he will be here in an hour, I have already shaved and all that jazz, so im just waiting and nervous now)
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AlephNull Wrote:Thanks for the reply. I don't know what my body woould try and be telling me. The thing is, if I were nervous the whole time I would be able to say "nope, I definitely don't like guys", but im only nervous until he gets here. Once we pull the pants down, and get down to business, it feels just as natural as sex with a girl to me.
(oh BTW he will be here in an hour, I have already shaved and all that jazz, so im just waiting and nervous now)
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Eh. Well, maybe just don't think about it as much? Go play a game or read a book to distract yourself. Anticipation always makes people nervous.
For all you know, he might be nervous too.
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do you tell the others you have these other relations?or you feel a condom is enough?to me that lifestyle is bad and only one boyfriend is better unless the others know
it all seems dishonest
guess that makes me conservative - i hate to go to doctors for checkups i guess
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I've only had 8 sex partners in 45 years of life. Yes I have had lots of sex, its just that I have been either very picky about who I have sex with or I was holding out for relationship...
6 of which are/were honest attempts at relationships, the other two were part of my massive slut stage where I had one night stands - so two casual encounters.
The 6 'lovers' - initially each session was coupled with nervousness, expectation, and a desire to make them feel good. Thus there were a lot of emotions tied into it. Once I started getting to know my partner the nervousness went away and a 'new confidence' that I was going it right took over. With my current partner of 15 years when we have sex it is comfortable, we know each other well enough to know which buttons to push to get off fast and which buttons to push to keep it going 
The two casual playmates I had were 'odd' I just wasn't emotionally invested. The first one its kept running through my mind that I will never have to see this guy again so why am I worried about his getting off. And the second it was 'Geez - wont' this guy every get off????'.
Emotional Investment. I think you may actually be emotionally invested in your friend with benefits. You care (at least enough) to get all nervous about it. I wonder how far you are willing to go to pleasure him, to share the sex experience instead of using it to just 'get off'.
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:I've only had 8 sex partners in 45 years of life. Yes I have had lots of sex, its just that I have been either very picky about who I have sex with or I was holding out for relationship...
6 of which are/were honest attempts at relationships, the other two were part of my massive slut stage where I had one night stands - so two casual encounters.
The 6 'lovers' - initially each session was coupled with nervousness, expectation, and a desire to make them feel good. Thus there were a lot of emotions tied into it. Once I started getting to know my partner the nervousness went away and a 'new confidence' that I was going it right took over. With my current partner of 15 years when we have sex it is comfortable, we know each other well enough to know which buttons to push to get off fast and which buttons to push to keep it going
The two casual playmates I had were 'odd' I just wasn't emotionally invested. The first one its kept running through my mind that I will never have to see this guy again so why am I worried about his getting off. And the second it was 'Geez - wont' this guy every get off????'.
Emotional Investment. I think you may actually be emotionally invested in your friend with benefits. You care (at least enough) to get all nervous about it. I wonder how far you are willing to go to pleasure him, to share the sex experience instead of using it to just 'get off'. I definately worry about getting him off. and I do like him, but not in a "oh my god, I wanna spend my life with you" kind of way.
But I think you maybe right. Thank you.
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