12-14-2007, 12:13 AM
Twazzle has asked me to share my experiences of online dating with you, and so I'm happy to oblige in case it can help anybody, or anybody's even vaguely interested in hearing about it.
Basically I signed up to gaydar in the hopes of finding somebody to meet up with, first as friends, and then with a potential view to seeing how things might develop, not for sex and not for a quick thing whatever it wound up being ... I was tired of all that and just wanted to meet somebody I could relax and be myself with, and see if/how it moved on from there.
Since my best mate Matthew played rugby LOADS at the time, and I've always found myself attracted to manly men, I did a search for users with the word "rugby" in their username, and up popped DOZENS of them ... so I started randomly flicking through them, and lo and behold, Martyn was among them.
To cut a long story short, I PM'd him and said (seriously, but light-heartedly) that I read his profile and that I was bowled over by how genuine it came across, and that I'd love to have a chance to speak with him if he were interested, but I'd understand if not, and how the HELL could he POSSIBLY be single !! (check out his picture if you don't believe me - it's in my gallery on the site).
He came back :biggrin:, and so from there we moved to e-mailing each other, then MSN, then phoning, and that's where we stayed for about a year all told ... we made plans to see each other as time progressed, but things kept getting in the way, and so we kinda settled on just taking our time and getting to know each other better before we took that step.
When he first came to the airport I was thinking "he's probably nothing like his picture - I'm so nervous - Omigod calm down - he's probably some three-foot tall circus midget with an afro or something" ... and then he strolled nonchalantly through the arrivals gate and, not being corny ? Took my breath away.
He was STUNNING - I still remember it now ... just thinking "Oh my God - he's real !!" :redface:.
He was going to be staying with me at my place, and so I made up a spare bed for him for obvious reasons ('twas the first time we'd met, and even though we met as potential boyfriends, I didn't want him to feel AT ALL pressured in case I wasn't to his liking in person or what have you), but no - the first night we slept together was magic - he was so sensitive and considerate - no jumping me - just gentle, tender and loving ... he's a find bless him :biggrin:.
Twazzle asked me whether I found it hard-going with us having taken so long, and the answer is yes and no ... as things have developed between us I think I speak for us both when I say we're really looking forward to the time when we can be together on a more permanent basis - however, we're not mugs OR fools, and so we appreciate (as your average pragmatic Taurus should) that it's better to move slowly and surely than to rush and have it collapse ...
... so our maturity has acted as the buffer for our desire to move things forward ... and it's all (touch wood) going really well at the moment.
We're looking at relocating him to Jersey, but it's again become a movable feast - we're GOING to do it - we keep saying soon, but there are obvious material issues to sort out (like what to do with his house 'n that) - I want him to keep it and rent it out, just in case things don't work out - I wouldn't want him to sacrifice everything and move to Jersey if it didn't happen (NOT that I see that being the case, but again, I'm a pragmatist).
So there we have it ! Proof that online relationships CAN develop into even more beautiful real-life ones ... it doesn't always happen obviously, but it can
mile:.
all.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
P.s. Obviously if you have any questions about this or owt else, just fire away - my life's an open book so I'm happy to answer honestly.
Basically I signed up to gaydar in the hopes of finding somebody to meet up with, first as friends, and then with a potential view to seeing how things might develop, not for sex and not for a quick thing whatever it wound up being ... I was tired of all that and just wanted to meet somebody I could relax and be myself with, and see if/how it moved on from there.
Since my best mate Matthew played rugby LOADS at the time, and I've always found myself attracted to manly men, I did a search for users with the word "rugby" in their username, and up popped DOZENS of them ... so I started randomly flicking through them, and lo and behold, Martyn was among them.
To cut a long story short, I PM'd him and said (seriously, but light-heartedly) that I read his profile and that I was bowled over by how genuine it came across, and that I'd love to have a chance to speak with him if he were interested, but I'd understand if not, and how the HELL could he POSSIBLY be single !! (check out his picture if you don't believe me - it's in my gallery on the site).
He came back :biggrin:, and so from there we moved to e-mailing each other, then MSN, then phoning, and that's where we stayed for about a year all told ... we made plans to see each other as time progressed, but things kept getting in the way, and so we kinda settled on just taking our time and getting to know each other better before we took that step.
When he first came to the airport I was thinking "he's probably nothing like his picture - I'm so nervous - Omigod calm down - he's probably some three-foot tall circus midget with an afro or something" ... and then he strolled nonchalantly through the arrivals gate and, not being corny ? Took my breath away.
He was STUNNING - I still remember it now ... just thinking "Oh my God - he's real !!" :redface:.
He was going to be staying with me at my place, and so I made up a spare bed for him for obvious reasons ('twas the first time we'd met, and even though we met as potential boyfriends, I didn't want him to feel AT ALL pressured in case I wasn't to his liking in person or what have you), but no - the first night we slept together was magic - he was so sensitive and considerate - no jumping me - just gentle, tender and loving ... he's a find bless him :biggrin:.
Twazzle asked me whether I found it hard-going with us having taken so long, and the answer is yes and no ... as things have developed between us I think I speak for us both when I say we're really looking forward to the time when we can be together on a more permanent basis - however, we're not mugs OR fools, and so we appreciate (as your average pragmatic Taurus should) that it's better to move slowly and surely than to rush and have it collapse ...
... so our maturity has acted as the buffer for our desire to move things forward ... and it's all (touch wood) going really well at the moment.
We're looking at relocating him to Jersey, but it's again become a movable feast - we're GOING to do it - we keep saying soon, but there are obvious material issues to sort out (like what to do with his house 'n that) - I want him to keep it and rent it out, just in case things don't work out - I wouldn't want him to sacrifice everything and move to Jersey if it didn't happen (NOT that I see that being the case, but again, I'm a pragmatist).
So there we have it ! Proof that online relationships CAN develop into even more beautiful real-life ones ... it doesn't always happen obviously, but it can
mile:. all.!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
P.s. Obviously if you have any questions about this or owt else, just fire away - my life's an open book so I'm happy to answer honestly.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Libra
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