Question: Gays having strait sex

[Pix]

The rest were all like other druggies, like heavy metal and punk rock guys who would have pretty much freaked if they knew I was turning tricks. To me it really felt like my hormones were being effected, however I remember being paranoid that my friends would find me out and think I was gay. This would have the effect of my trying very hard not to exhibit any gay seeming qualities, which in turn seemed to inevitably cause me to inadvertently exhibit the traits even more... does that make sense?

Interesting.

But something I'm curious about: you said this happened in the 80s, and you mixed with metal heads. I recall being very surprised how girly a lot of male rock stars back then were, especially in glam metal. I mean have you seen Bret Michaels back then? Oddly, even those who remained masculine (like RATT, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister) seemed to pay more attention to their appearances (as bizarre as they often were) and used more makeup than I do on my most girly days.

So I wonder, why would a feminine guy be scorned when so many of their musical idols were feminine looking themselves? :confused:

Just so you know I was born in 1982, so I missed the musical scene (especially heavy metal) when it was happening at the time. (I actually didn't realize how girly a lot of 80s heavy metal stars looked until I saw their vids on YouTube when I was in my mid-20s.)

[seveneyes]

Interesting.

But something I'm curious about: you said this happened in the 80s, and you mixed with metal heads. I recall being very surprised how girly a lot of male rock stars back then were, especially in glam metal. I mean have you seen Bret Michaels back then? Oddly, even those who remained masculine (like RATT, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister) seemed to pay more attention to their appearances (as bizarre as they often were) and used more makeup than I do on my most girly days.

So I wonder, why would a feminine guy be scorned when so many of their musical idols were feminine looking themselves? :confused:

Just so you know I was born in 1982, so I missed the musical scene (especially heavy metal) when it was happening at the time. (I actually didn't realize how girly a lot of 80s heavy metal stars looked until I saw their vids on YouTube when I was in my mid-20s.)

Well, they may have seemed fem, but back then it wasn't so fem. Most of the metal heads that I was around were like the Iron maiden, and Crue variety as well, but they were on the second side of my friends group, they were predominantly my dealers etc, while the punk rock side were my sidekicks. Back then it was practically a mortal sin to speak with alisp, but you could have long hair and an earring in your left ear unless you were in certain areas, like the country. Then you were screwed. (figuratively, not litterally)
The fashions back then were not considered Fem, they were considered unique and cool. (they so were!) -that was my experience anyway-

[seveneyes]

Pix, can I ask what about women turns you on most? Also, what sexual position or activity does it for you most?

for me, it is in this order
1. Eyes, smile, hair
2. smell, and the look of the midsection as a whole, butt, belly, and their proportion.
3. personality

-Cunnilingus and strait up missionary position rocks my world. I love the face to face kissing and legs around my body. (or head)

[Sylph]

Pix, can I ask what about women turns you on most? Also, what sexual position or activity does it for you most?

for me, it is in this order
1. Eyes, smile, hair
2. smell, and the look of the midsection as a whole, butt, belly, and their proportion.
3. personality

-Cunnilingus and strait up missionary position rocks my world. I love the face to face kissing and legs around my body. (or head)

Teensy bit personal. Details like that aren't necessarily important on a debate like this, but thanks for sharing .

~

Unlike most guys here, I'm probably the only fem one here and quite proud might I add.

Most of my friends are lesbians and straight girls and a few gay guys, but I haven't fancied any of them. There's a simple reason behind this; I'm more emotionally connected to sex then physically(plus I happen to like guys, so that cuts the women out by default ).

I know that sounds odd coming from a guy, but it's true. I can't picture myself on my knees, for some man to do with as he pleases, without actually loving him and him loving me first.

I definately can't picture myself with a woman, as I feel I share alot with them, even though I am male. I'm a self proclaimed feminist and actually don't particularly like it when girls I know get with guys, because I also know how a male thinks and converse with these males (well this was in high school) and knew their agenda, so I became a cock-blocker, whatever.

I was raised by women, my family is majoritively women and I have 2 sisters (as well as 3 brothers) and I would protect them with every fiber of my being from another man. I have a prejudice against men, when it comes to women I know and love. Even women I don't know sometimes, I would gladly lay my life on the line, if I could help a woman in a life or death situation or anyone for that matter, but since women are more often targeted it's more likely it would be a woman.

I don't care how that sounds, but I respect women too much, so much that I protect them from men, unless I can determine they're safe (I can read people very well, thanks to my mom ) .

So no, even if I were straight, I would not sleep with a woman, but then again if I were straight, my logic of thinking would be completely different, so I don't honestly know, but speaking in the now, I wouldn't.

Hope that answers your question .

[Pix]

It's very difficult for me to say what turns me on the most as I look at the whole person and all kinds of little details make the difference. For example, looks matter (though I can find a feminine blue-eyed blonde as appealing as a masculine black woman with soul deep eyes), but not anywhere as much as some would think and I can easily be drawn to someone plain looking over someone in good physical condition depending on many other factors (like how funny she is, if I can have stimulating conversations with her, how well we "get" each other, how nice she is, does she just have that way of making me feel good being with her, and countless other things). But I have noticed that I prefer the natural smell of a woman to perfume (from time to time I can appreciate perfume--still like natural smells better--but more often than not I find perfumes annoying rather than enticing). And familiarity helps A LOT.

I've been in all kinds of sexual relationships, and I enjoyed experimenting in my younger days (I think curiosity actually drove me to sex more than lust back then). I especially love to touch & taste. Most of all I love it when a woman gets excited because this is what gets me excited. I've actually missed nudity at times while watching an erotic vid or show (like The L Word) because I was so focused on her face, trying to see how aroused she look, because I get sympathetic responses (and I get frustrated with a lot of porn & erotica because it just falls "flat" for me).

Speaking strictly from a sexual PoV, the best lover I ever had was the blasian stud I mentioned earlier (the one who wanted me more feminine), in which we had a versatile, passionate, mutually aggressive style that was uninhibited and at times downright freaky. I loved how pure it was, how mind blowing awesome it got, how we fed off each other getting each other hotter & hotter, and how it never got old because we did so many things, and when something got boring we did other things instead (sometimes new, sometimes revisiting wonderful memories and perhaps improving on them). And I learned A LOT about sex toys and how best to use them from her. And like with many other things in life (such as cuisine), I love variety. It was so good I was sure our relationship could never fail despite some differences, though it did, and I will never be with her again as our values and what we want are too incompatible and I see that now. I do miss the sex at times, however (not that my current partner has anything to worry about).

I top my current partner. It gets frustrating sometimes because she's 41 years old (so not all that energetic) and multi-orgasmic. While the multiple orgasms excite me a lot, after she's had about 5 all she wants to do is sleep and has said she can barely move at all (and I've seen her walk unsteadily right after before as well). She's actually passed out on me before. It helps that she makes me feel appreciated and how turned on she gets, but I'd say about 70% of the time she's a pillow princess (that is, she doesn't reciprocate, because she's too exhausted after). I love giving oral because the tastes and smell turn me on so much as does her growing excitement. And because she loves penetration the most, I often end with that (getting more excited as she does), and sometimes I use a double ended dildo so I can get off at the same time, but unfortunately it doesn't vibrate like her favorite one does so I often don't get to use it for very long. It basically means that more often than not I have to get myself off after getting her off (I get tired myself after as well, but for some reason I'm fine, even energetic, about half an hour or so later, while she sometimes has trouble getting up the next morning). But make no mistake, she's worth it, and there's no way I'd dump her to go back to my blasian stud. I'm hoping we're for life. But I do worry that as I get older my sex drive will increase significantly (I currently have a low sex drive--which is why she can't "go first" as some suggested she should because it would be difficult and time consuming for me to get into it if she did--but some have told me that they once had a low sex drive like me but then it increased a lot, almost to nympho levels in a couple of cases, when around 30 years old, and if that happens to me then it WILL become a problem that will have to be dealt with).

[seveneyes]

Thanx Pix. I know it was pretty personal, but I was trying to see how similar your attraction to women was to my own. What better place than anonymously online to ask questions like this?! (In my opinion it is much easier than trying to find someone to face to face speak so candidly.)

Ok, another thing I wanted to ask people about was if they have anything that would generally be considered a non sexual thing, a certain subject, or object, observed behavior like anger, or sadness, or laughter that inexplicably turns you on seemingly for no reason. Like if someone said; " For some reason when I hear a chainsaw start up I always get excited and dont know why." or; "Everytime I hear someone talk about me when they don't know I am there i get hot." Maybe something as simple as chairs inexplicably turning you on, or argyle socks. Anything that you have wondered why you get turned on by it.

[ceez]

lol, well I'm a masculine guy, I like sports, fixing things (mainly my car), violent video games, and I don't know if it's the same for most straight guys but muscle cars get me excited :redface:. its something about that loud roar that makes my pants tingle. the other thing that turns me on is smart guys :biggrin: intelligence is a huge turn on for me next to a sense of humor.

and to answer your first question I couldn't be in a straight relationship, I grew up wanting to start a family of my own and I come from a rather large close knit christian family so even though I was taught that I were to grow up and start my own family I wanted it anyway. however I just can't find women attractive in that way, not emotionally, physically, or spiritually. plus I refuse to drag a woman into a relationship to hide my gayness, I'd rather be found out and crucified than drag some poor woman into a doomed relationship.

[xhy1989]

Like you said, if someone(opposite sex) is emotionally and physically perfect for me, I'd love to make some effort to please them, but merely for the purpose of pleasing them. It's kinda like a twisted fetish to me or the female private parts somehow turn me on, i don't know for sure... but I can only appreciate them and play with them a little; can't imagine going any further. Hmmm, feels like a delicate situation, strange ah?

[pellaz]

my partner would NOT allow it where we are in life. I am 57 and my partner is 47

If we were a gay couple who wanted children straight sex would be the only way

[Rosie]

I am wondering if most Gay people do in fact have romantic feelings for the opposite sex at times? It is my belief that every gay person, if asked if they would ever, eagerly, make an exception and have sex with an opposite sex partner, they would. Like if there was one Hollywood star of the opposite sex that you could have sex with right now and love it, who would it be?
I'm not even slightly attracted to men, and honestly the thought of a penis coming anywhere near my body repulses me. Actually, I couldn't even imagine myself kissing a man so sex just wouldn't happen.

If there is an attraction to certain types of women (or men) however specific or rare, and clearly for most people there is a deep rooted desire for family, do you think that it is possible that you could ever be in a healthy heterosexual relationship, maybe start a family and remain committed to the opposite sex partner, regardless of sexual propensity, resulting in a continued loving, respectful and mutually nurturing marriage that ended with companionship in old age, and the posterity of a family tree beneath you both?
I had absolutely no desire to have a family until I met my partner. Our bond has kickstarted my maternal urges, so no I can not imagine that I would ever marry my gay male best friend to satisfy my maternal urges, because I don't have them with anyone else. When I think of having children it's not because I have the overwhelming desire to reproduce, it's because I love my partner & want to raise a family with her. When I was single I didn't want children, when I was with my exes I didn't want kids.

Do you think it is possible that there is one of the opposite sex who might be a perfect fit for you emotionally, physically and spiritually?
I can't imagine this, while I get along fabulously with gay men I just don't seem to connect with straight men for the most part. Besides that I love breasts and curves and dislike penis' so there goes the chance of having a "perfect fit physically".

Do any of you know of any couples who are of the opposite sex, who are both gay who have been friends for so long that they are more like family, who decided to start a family together with the deep love of friendship as their root, rather than romance.
No I do not but my gay male best friend married his bisexual best friend so that she could stay in the US after less than a month of that, with no sex or the like expected they realized that it was just not going to work.