I feel like I'm losing interest in my best friend, What to do??

[jdawg903]

Hey guys,

My best friend and I are really close and all. We do everything together and I used to have this big crush on him that I posted on here before lol. Anyways, he's said some pretty hurtful things to me in the past, and he's never really addressed them and told me otherwise until like a year after. But after that time I've noticed that even still when I'm around him, I still feel a little bit shitty because I believe what he's said to me.It's just become almost a foundation of our friendship. I told him recently how I feel and he didn't change much if anything at all.

I can't keep feeling like this, especially since we live together. I thought it was stuff wrong with me before but now I'm beginning to think he really doesn't care, and that all that stuff is true, despite him saying its not after a year of him saying that it was. I just don't believe it when he says he just said those things because he was upset, when he recurringly said them.

What should I do guys? I feel like I've tried everything with him, but its just not working. I then get jealous when I see him with other people because they seem to have a carefree friendship when I have all this bottled up and he doesn't try and help me unless I bring it up and then he gets slightly annoyed.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You have resentment.

http://www.dreammanifesto.com/resentment...iness.html is one site that deals with subject. There are many sites and also many methods of dealing with resentments largely due to how resentments are 'planted'

He most likely thinks that all of this stuff in the past was resolved - most likely didn't see the original words as being 'that painful'. Now you are just going on and on and on about what in his mind is a 'dead issue'. He can't relate to what you are feeling, so yes he will be annoyed that you are bringing it all up again and again.

He isn't going to be able to help you deal with your resentment(s) - these are internal things you have, not him.

Forgiveness is easy to say, but its much, much harder to really feel.

[jdawg903]

You have resentment.

is one site that deals with subject. There are many sites and also many methods of dealing with resentments largely due to how resentments are 'planted'

He most likely thinks that all of this stuff in the past was resolved - most likely didn't see the original words as being 'that painful'. Now you are just going on and on and on about what in his mind is a 'dead issue'. He can't relate to what you are feeling, so yes he will be annoyed that you are bringing it all up again and again.

He isn't going to be able to help you deal with your resentment(s) - these are internal things you have, not him.

Forgiveness is easy to say, but its much, much harder to really feel.

That's a good point. I've found myself forgiving but then I just end up feeling the same afterwards as I always did. But regardless, I mean I've tried to forgive him but he just doesn't take me seriously and he doesn't try and undo the stuff he says by explaining the truth if its otherwise. I've tried really hard and it would be nice if he did too.

[Sequard]

Well all i can think of to get rid of that bad emotion is to forgive him by showing how much you love him, you know how you don't get mad to the people close to you or get mad and then forget about it, so give it a shot

[pellaz]

its going to be very difficult to get over all these things when you are living with the guy. Hook up date some one else will definitely put you on the path to mend you feelings toward the friend.

[Rainbowmum]

The first thing you need to do is self assurance .
So you are not all the negative things he accused you of, pick yourself up , ask yourself "why is his opinion of you so valued?"

Could it be that you are not over the crush?
Pick yourself up , brush yourself off , and get on with life.
Never give anyone the power to make you feel down.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

That's a good point. I've found myself forgiving but then I just end up feeling the same afterwards as I always did. But regardless, I mean I've tried to forgive him but he just doesn't take me seriously and he doesn't try and undo the stuff he says by explaining the truth if its otherwise. I've tried really hard and it would be nice if he did too.

How long have you two been married?

Oh wait, he is not your partner, he is not committed to you as a spouse/partner. He is what a friend? a roommate?

I suspect that you are 'demanding' him to treat you as a lover/spouse and he is trying to treat you as a friend/roommate and your expectations for each other are on different levels.

[Gizzie]

I think finding someone else to be interested in will help you move on, lose the resentment.