I'm scared ...

[JRiver]

This thread is for talking about what scares us.

For example, some guys are afraid of ...


a) having a romantic relationship with another man

b) having a romantic relationship with ... anyone

c) getting close to another / being vulnerable / opening up

d) being seen with one's same-sex partner in public

e) telling the truth to others about one's orientation / coming out

f) being rejected

g) getting an STD

h) being the victim of a gay basher



What are you afraid of?

Can you summon the courage to tell the truth in this safe place?mile:

Do you think talking about it might help?

Are you afraid to talk about it? (If so, can you say so?)

[XRIMO]

I'm terrified of being alone and having no one around when I need.

[JRiver]

I'm terrified of being alone and having no one around when I need.

Thanks for having the courage to say so in this forum, XRIMO.

Does "being alone" mean being without a life-partner, or is it a broader kind of being alone, as in not having very close, trusted and loving friends?

[JRiver]

I'm afraid of being alone as a result of holding people at a distance, not letting people in close, and not knowing how or why I do so.

I have other fears about being alone. But it is only fair to share one of my own fears in this thread I created.

I also fear/worry that others will not let me in close and form loving and intimate bonds with me (for various reasons). (One of those reasons/fears has to do with their own fear or inability or unwillingness to open up and be intimate/close.)

[XRIMO]

Both, whenever I make friends, they seem to vanish whether they move away or committ to something that makes it nearly impossible to see them. Finding a boyfriend feels like an impossible task.

I know what it feels like to be alone, it hurts and terrifies me. I want to know that someday I won't have to be afraid of it anymore.

[Nick9]

I am scared of questions like these :biggrin:

okay, ... of hurting people by coming out and by living the life I want to. Of losing more than gaining.

[JRiver]

I am scared of questions like these :biggrin:

Me too! But I'm much more scared of not asking them, not having them asked, living in a world where we cower from being authentic and "vulnerable" with one another.

[dfiant]

I'm afraid that the world is becoming a place where our fellow man is second and bad manners are becoming the norm. Chivalry or random acts of kindness are few and far between and people have to be coaxed, guilted or encouraged to be kind.

It seems that the generations (baby boomers, gen x, gen y etc) can now be lumped into one single generation.....GEN ME

[East]

Nothing on the list for me but I have a few others....

I am terrified of my lover dying.

I am terrified of driving along steep cliffs.

I am terrified of creating any karma or not doing or completing something that will help me evolve off the earth plane of existence...I dont' want to come back here again (yeah...I know it is an odd one)

There is nothing that will help ease any of those fears. I used to have alot more that I overcame but I am just gonna have to live with these three and resigned myself to do so long ago.

[JRiver]

I know what it feels like to be alone, it hurts and terrifies me. I want to know that someday I won't have to be afraid of it anymore.

My deepest intuition says "Being terrified of being alone creates the conditions which are most apt to keep one in this feared aloneness". And it also says, "By making friends (so to speak) with solitude, one becomes much more available to the lucky condition of inviting and having intimacy and love and sharing with another / others."

I want to invite you to explore great feelings of joyous togetherness and intimacy in your solitudes. After all, in truth, we're all in relationship with all-of-life, and it is a profound relatedness which is the essence of our true condition. True, we may feel (and in many ways be) lonely; but we can discover that in opening to and welcoming this loneliness, it may soften and open into a wonderful world with a depth of relation and belonging ... and joy of companionship.

Now, all of these words come from an intuitive insight, not my own fully lived realization. So the "invitation" I wrote above is for me, too. We are together in it.