Scared and Confused. Please help

[East]

So I confronted him. He denied everything. It made me pretty angry. He claims that he didn't even know how to use the phone. When I showed him the text he said "I didn't send that and I have no idea who that is". I broke it off with him and we are probably going to go our separate ways...

I am proud of you! It is weird when you know the truth and the person sits in front of you and lies.

[dynamodean]

So I confronted him. He denied everything. It made me pretty angry. He claims that he didn't even know how to use the phone. When I showed him the text he said "I didn't send that and I have no idea who that is". I broke it off with him and we are probably going to go our separate ways...

Cheating is one thing. But cheating and then lying about it? Sorry, but you're out the door. Once he lies to you, you can never trust him again.

I am very happy that you got rid of him. You deserve so much better!

[MBRetzlaff]

Lol this doesn't feel like anything to be proud of. I feel every emotion right now except any positive ones...

[Borg69]

Lol this doesn't feel like anything to be proud of. I feel every emotion right now except any positive ones...

Two wrongs don't make a right... You snooped in his phone, and he's (probably) lying and cheating. You can point fingers and place blame on who's at fault, and who is more in the wrong, but that doesn't change the facts of what the situation IS at the moment. He's (probably) lying and cheating.

You can/should confront him about it. Be honest and tell him the facts as you told us about the phone ringing... More than likely his first impulse is going to be to lie about it, and deny deny deny...

Is there anything he can say that will appease you? Will you believe any excuses he has compared to the red flags waving in your head?

Where do you go from here???

[princealbertofb]

Hello, MBRetzlaff, and to GaySpeak. Sorry I've not been around earlier for this. Now that things have been decided, you can start considering what you said in your original post, that is to say, that you don't think you ever loved him.

So this relationship was never what it should have been, or what you hoped it would mean for you. You've made a move that'll free you of this relationship and that will goad you to move on to something new, something more meaningful. It may help you, also, to reconsider your position with regard to fidelity and what it means to be in a relationship where each one has enough freedom to express not only their emotions but also their need for sexuality.

Was your partner considering cheating with you, or had he actually done it? You don't need to know, probably, but maybe you can give yourself the honour of forgiving him (if he's erred) and give yourself time to forgive yourself for making the mistake of assuming your relationship was the "right one for now". You've settled for less than you wanted this first time; you may consider settling for something similar in the future, but you'll know the conditions and not feel you've been fooled. It's always hard to lose one's innocence, to some extent, even if it brings us better understanding of others and ourselves.

We learn from our mistakes, and those of others. Hopefully this is a way of cleaning the slate and starting anew but with new wisdom.

Hope you recover quickly and find a new purpose in your life.

[ChadCoxRox]

Lol this doesn't feel like anything to be proud of. I feel every emotion right now except any positive ones...

:terribly-sorry-smil
you don't have to deal with pride... that's for us! We feel it because you worked forward with the mess instead of being led on any further. So sorry for the pain but at least you've exposed the wound and can begin the healing!

[50Plus]

MB - sorry and congratulations at the same time. Its OK to be negative for a while. There are opportunities out there. Do you have any need to talk to anyone at this point? Am sure some of us are just a phone call away.

A big hug going your way