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The guy who got scared away
#1
Hey GaySpeak!

It's been a while, but I'm happy to be back.

So anyway, I'm over at College and I met this really wonderful guy. He's a senior, and I'm a freshman (not a big deal). I really enjoyed spending time with him, we were getting quite romantic and cuddly. It seemed like things were naturally progressing very well.

Of course, all of a sudden I stop getting responses to my text messages and having dates canceled on me. This was after he had told me that he really liked me and was excited to keep seeing me. Since the whole thing was new and fresh and I was hearing more information about this guy from rumors (he can come off a bit obnoxious, and he's very flirtatious with people. In fact, a friend of mine was on a bus coming home from some career fair and bamn, the guy I've been interested in was behind her, flirting hardcore with the guy next to him. There's nothing wrong with that of course, as we were just dating and had no bounders yet. However, it gave the impression he wasn't looking for what I was looking for). After all that, I got over it, conversation dwindled, and it was all fine.

He asked me to lunch yesterday, so I accepted to see what would happen. It was fun like always, I enjoyed it. He also apologized for the ignoring me thing. He said "he didn't know what he wanted in his life" and took it out on me like that. He wants to be "friends," even "good friends."

So there's lots of options here. Be "friends." Ignore it because he was an asshole. The problem is that if I stay friends with him, all the mushy feelings are going to slowly creep back, and I'm going to want more than he wants to give.

The fact he reached back out means SOMETHING. I think the best plan for now is to hang out and see what happens. In the back of my mind I know I'm hanging on for something that is not going to happen. I also know that if i don't talk to him for a week I'll be over it lol. I might confront him later about it.

I also have dates with a couple other people lined up, so that may get my mind of it.

Comments? Suggestions?
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#2
Some guys are "collectors"... They don't commit to any ONE guy, but keep several of them hanging on to fall back on in some quasi-"Wait and See" holding pattern. They all think they're possibly dating, while HE says they're "Just Friends", and HE gets all the benefits.

Not to say that your guy is like this... but he could be... and if you're observant it won't be too hard to figure out if he's a player or not.
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#3
What do you want from him? He leveled with you, which is always a good sign, so you should do the same with him. Maybe you guys will be a couple soon, maybe 'just' friends.
Relax and see where this is going and keep dating others in the meantime.
Bernd

Being gay is not for Sissies.
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