05-11-2012, 09:31 PM
Well like a week ago my mind was all set to go to San Fran Pride and set up my reservations at a hostel that I was going to stay at for like 3 days and I was getting all excited about checking out the bars and clubs and what not.
Now I have no interest in going and I think alot of that has to do with the fact that I am more at ease where I am at and I just don't have the desire now to drive 3 1/2 hours to hang around a bunch of other queers for the entire weekend, lol. Plus lately or the last 2 years I have enjoyed being in places where it hasn't been big cities. I think my initial feelings are the same once I get to a seasonal job that I have to go get out and about and get my gay on.
When in fact its really not the case and that I don't need to do anything. I mean why spend lots of money getting plastered and going to bar to bar. I mean what is the point of that? I mean I don't know anyone in SF and would just be going to these places alone anyway, what fun is that? So I have decided that I would rather just keep hiking and if I am really desperate to go to SF someday I will do it.
I just feel anxiety when I am in a big city and I have a feeling after the first day I will be like get me the hell out of this place. Yet years ago when I went to pride in chicago in 2006 I wasn't that way and happy exploring pride on my own and just getting out and about. Now life is different and I am not that big city wanting person. God I am sure all over the place.
WTF!!!!!!
Now I have no interest in going and I think alot of that has to do with the fact that I am more at ease where I am at and I just don't have the desire now to drive 3 1/2 hours to hang around a bunch of other queers for the entire weekend, lol. Plus lately or the last 2 years I have enjoyed being in places where it hasn't been big cities. I think my initial feelings are the same once I get to a seasonal job that I have to go get out and about and get my gay on.
When in fact its really not the case and that I don't need to do anything. I mean why spend lots of money getting plastered and going to bar to bar. I mean what is the point of that? I mean I don't know anyone in SF and would just be going to these places alone anyway, what fun is that? So I have decided that I would rather just keep hiking and if I am really desperate to go to SF someday I will do it.
I just feel anxiety when I am in a big city and I have a feeling after the first day I will be like get me the hell out of this place. Yet years ago when I went to pride in chicago in 2006 I wasn't that way and happy exploring pride on my own and just getting out and about. Now life is different and I am not that big city wanting person. God I am sure all over the place.
WTF!!!!!!