Confused, need some guidance

[Gizzie]

You are "normal" because there is no such thing as "normal", if that makes any sense.

And I think many of the people here will agree with me that sexuality is not a choice. You can't switch it on and off.
If sexuality was a choice, would straight people be able to switch on their " gay mode" and go gay?.

How you live and how you express your sexuality as a part of your being is totally unique to you.
Many of my friends are just gay,but some of them are male to female transgendered lesbians.
Then you'd think, why can't you just stay a man and go out with women = looks like a straight relationship from the outside.
But that doesn't make sense to her, so she chose to be a transgendered lesbian, and I think that takes a lot of courage and respect her for it.

So good luck to you too. It will be a tough journey to reprogram a,l the religious teaching you may have had, but it will be worth it in the end!