Moving in With Boyfriend..haven't told the parents yet

[Nick9]

Hi pellaz, I admit I don't agree with every suggestion, but I really like that you have thought about so many things and that it works for both of you.

[pellaz]

all good
what is not as expected?

[Nick9]

all good
what is not as expected?

not "expected," some rules just wouldn't work for me That doesn't mean it won't work for spencer.

-speaking of rules; if you two have an argument, and one boy goes off to sleep on the couch the other can ask the first to come back to bed and the first must do it. For example if he argues with you give him a couple of hours to cool down and walk over and say "your sorry", ask him back into the bed. He cant refuse but if he does crawl onto the couch with him. never ever sleep alone more than a couple of hours.

This gives me creeps :biggrin: Making peace before you go to bed, ok.
he "can't" refuse - uh, never
also sleeping on a couch with someone who I am mad at would drive me up the wall and not in a good way. Sometimes the things are better in the morning, you just need to sleep on it.

-another rule if you like; you have to ask permission to sleep over at your mother's house.

I have a huge problem with "ask permission." Talk about it yes, being dependent on my partner's permission/agreement - uh, no. I won't do something that would hurt him, but I need some freedom. I usually say "I will ..., is it ok with you?" And he never says no. Probably because I never do anything wild :biggrin:

-if you can trust him with your life,

hmm, not sure if I would trust anybody with my life after a month (two, I am sorry, I can't remember) relationship. But you probably meant sometime in their future years.

[pellaz]

my bad
i should not have asked because dont want to hijack the thread thanks for your reply.

[Nick9]

hi pellaz, we both have been in a relationship for a long time, I don't think it is a hijacking, spencer can choose what will work for them

[spencer]

Difficult to read into this other than the obvious; you moving in with your bf. Its not unhealthy tho, please; both of you be excited.

Sounds like your out to your parents and they like your boy friend. Congratulations. If I got this right? So just move in. Have your parents help move? Have them over for dinner? Tell them you want a partner like they have had.

HAVE AN EXIT PLAN.

-for health insurance purposes; get some utility bills, the rental agreement in both your names. So you can prove the domestic partnership thing. It will be there when you need it. Usually 2-3 of them.
-Also good for the domestic partnership thing; get a joint credit card so you can buy shared things like food and he can pay half, get a hard copy or be organized enough to sit down at the kitchen table and go through it on line by line basis. Relationships have arguments on money so have some rules between you two on expenses; who pays what and everyone has to ask permission to buy things and what are some limits on spending. Write the rules down if needed.
-speaking of rules; if you two have an argument, and one boy goes off to sleep on the couch the other can ask the first to come back to bed and the first must do it. For example if he argues with you give him a couple of hours to cool down and walk over and say "your sorry", ask him back into the bed. He cant refuse but if he does crawl onto the couch with him. never ever sleep alone more than a couple of hours.
-another rule if you like; you have to ask permission to sleep over at your mother's house.
-relationships are a lot of work. It takes two to argue. Suck it up. Consider how you respond to your own personal failures, you dont argue with your self but feel disappointed and try harder next time. Same thing with your partner.
-if you can trust him with your life, have a rule that if either of you sleep with another boy you can't keep it a secret between you. On the other side the other partner cant go off the deep end but you two need to work it out logically. Never do a three some.
-share your wardrobe with him. Wear the same underwear but if both of you get a dog or buy a car have an agreement.

in my previous relationship I was offended that my wife (yes it was a straight marriage) was always texting me. In this relationship he texts me < every 12minuites, I take it serious and enabled the iPhone emu keyboard. You can tell if things hit the rocks as he stops texting.
He enabled tracking in my iPhone so he always knows where i am. So if I am stuck in traffic he knows about where I am.

I'm just super clingy and have an obsessive personality. I'm aware of it though and most of the time I realize when I'm feeling something irrational. I'v gotten pretty good at just telling him if I feel crazy rather than like spazzing out on him. It's complicated but it's not causing an issue.

Having my parents help me move probably won't help. They're sick of helping me move in and out all the time. Lol. My dad even said last time I moved out he wouldn't help me, he did anyway. Although my mom will probably have fun if I ask her to just hang out and give me her opinions on decorating. xD

I've been meaning to ask my boyfriend about opening a joint bank account to put rent, bill, and possibly grocery money in. Basically everything that we'll share expenses on. But if we get the apartment I want utilities are paid so it's just rent and groceries yay! But he's been too busy for me to talk to him about or is only available for like 5 minutes >.<

And um, he's like twice my size so I'm pretty sure his underwear would just fall right off me lol. But no I'm sure I'll be borrowing his shirts at some point. xD

I like to be in constant communication at least right now since he's on the road but he's always busy so for about every 10 texts I send I receive 1 text that's usually just a smiley face or an okay. Which drives me insane but I'm having trouble communicating that to him. But when he's actually here the only thing I'm gonna be concerned about is when are you gonna be home and do I need to have dinner ready or not. The usual basic stuff so I know not to worry or know how to plan my evening.

[Michdman]

I agree with Sceak, your over thinking it babe.

[spencer]

Spencer, I am sure your dad wants to see you happy. And I am also sure that he knows that you won't be living with them to your forties and feel happy...
Maybe it will be easier than you think. Talk to them about how happy you are, how wonderful your bf is, how good he is to you. Let them slowly get used to the idea.

Good luck. In fact I think that you are a very lucky person

Yeah but whenever I do something that shows a sign of me growing up, like moving in with a boyfriend it freaks him out. He wants me to be a kid. Actually when I asked him what he wanted for father's day he said for me to not move out for another year. >.< He'll be fine once I do move out and it's all done but getting it done is the tricky part. I try to drop hints so it won't be much a shock when I do tell him...although thinking about it know I wonder if he said that because he thinks I'll end up moving out in October...

[Nick9]

And um, he's like twice my size so I'm pretty sure his underwear would just fall right off me lol. But no I'm sure I'll be borrowing his shirts at some point. xD

I like to be in constant communication at least right now since he's on the road but he's always busy so for about every 10 texts I send I receive 1 text that's usually just a smiley face or an okay. Which drives me insane but I'm having trouble communicating that to him. But when he's actually here the only thing I'm gonna be concerned about is when are you gonna be home and do I need to have dinner ready or not. The usual basic stuff so I know not to worry or know how to plan my evening.

:biggrin: :biggrin: I wish I could meet you, man

[pellaz]

sometimes on gs you hear of two guys moving in together. Anything can happen but for these people you know it is going to so good all around.