07-14-2012, 05:44 PM
Living in this small town makes dating extremely difficult.
I have no problem to attract cute guys at my age range, sometimes even 4-5 years younger than me. (I myself look younger than my age anyway.)
But most guys only into quickies.
And I am getting tired of that.
I used to think that friendship can be built after sex. But I now realize it doesn't work in this country. Sex is sex, friends are friends. Guys looking for sex won't appreciate your heart at all.
Friendships are even harder to find. After all, I am an alein.
And my dates never went well. There are always some reasons made it troublesome and depressing.
And to make things worse, I find myself more and more adapted to single life. I have less and less expectations on my dates, because I know they won't work well. I don't even want a date that much as before. (anyhow, I won't lower down my personal standards.)
And recently, I am thinking about the possibility of raising a child on my own. I want a kid so much that maybe I am willing to raise one all by myself. Huge challenge. And I can forget about having a partner if I choose to do that.
I constantly have this bad feeling that I gonna end up alone for ever.
I know I should start with having more friends. It's just so hard.
Language, culture, social circle.
All my close friends here are straight.
I want to have some gay friends.
Hope I can move back to NYC next year. I think that will help.
I have no problem to attract cute guys at my age range, sometimes even 4-5 years younger than me. (I myself look younger than my age anyway.)
But most guys only into quickies.
And I am getting tired of that.
I used to think that friendship can be built after sex. But I now realize it doesn't work in this country. Sex is sex, friends are friends. Guys looking for sex won't appreciate your heart at all.
Friendships are even harder to find. After all, I am an alein.
And my dates never went well. There are always some reasons made it troublesome and depressing.
And to make things worse, I find myself more and more adapted to single life. I have less and less expectations on my dates, because I know they won't work well. I don't even want a date that much as before. (anyhow, I won't lower down my personal standards.)
And recently, I am thinking about the possibility of raising a child on my own. I want a kid so much that maybe I am willing to raise one all by myself. Huge challenge. And I can forget about having a partner if I choose to do that.
I constantly have this bad feeling that I gonna end up alone for ever.
I know I should start with having more friends. It's just so hard.
Language, culture, social circle.
All my close friends here are straight.
I want to have some gay friends.
Hope I can move back to NYC next year. I think that will help.