I currently live in a rather intolerant area and think that my 10 year old son is gay (for many reasons). It hurts me that he can not be himself. His favorite color was pink but he changed it in first grade because he was made fun of for it and he hides many aspects of his personality because people around here aren't accepting of boys who aren't "stereotypical boys." He's having problems with the kids at school already and has been taunted and called a faggot. He has never expressed sexual interest in either sex yet and I don't expect that he will for a few more years but I have already had to sit him down and have a talk with him about homosexuality because words like gay and faggot are used only as insults. I basically explained to him what homosexuality is and you are born that way which makes it perfectly natural and that people who make fun of gay people are ignorant and small minded. I know that he's going to go through hell in his teens and am hoping that my emotional support will be of some comfort to him. My older son (17) already said that he's accepted the fact that his little brother is going to be gay and my father said that he doesn't have a problem with it either (his brother died of AIDS in the 90's). So he'll have the emotional support of his family but the outside world is so cruel and I want to make things as easy as possible for him. Is there anywhere I can move where he can be accepted for who he is and not be made fun of or taunted for being different? Can anyone give me advice on what I can do to help him through what is to come? Thank you.
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Oh Lynnie, I know where you are coming from as my brother also died of AIDS in the 90s... But AIDS is no longer such a big concern as it used to be... All a guy (or gal) needs to know is what risks to try to avoid to have a healthy sex life. A well informed person and a person who knows their self worth will not be tempted to indulge in self harming behaviour, nor have this death wish, I reckon. So what it really boils down to is support, education and love.
Let the child know that he is loved unconditionally and let him make his own experiments in terms of love, be supportive of the person he chooses as a romantic partner (provided that person is decent and respectful, of course, in all other respects, ie not abusive).
Lynnie, you live in California; could you move to San Francisco or Oakland or somewhere near there? It is the gay Mecca of the world, after all. Seattle sounds like another place where being gay is better accepted too, and Washington state now offers gay marriage as well as those states of New England and Washington DC. It seems to have become part of the local mores now.
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Sorry Lynnie, I tried to post something about schools... It didn't work out, but here it is... Could you contact the PLAG branch of the area in which you are or the area in which you think you might settle and ask them if they have any information about gay-friendly schools.? By that, I mean schools that enforce policies of zero tolerance to bullying and support for gay young people, maybe schools that have a gay alliance group.
If PFLAG can't inform you, then I suggest you ring up some of the schools and tell them about your concern, and ask if they have a policy about acceptance and zero tolerance for bullying. That should put your heart and mind at rest.
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Welcome Lynnie. I would like to say a Mother's intuition on these things are always right.
I would also like to ease your worries. At 10, kids parrot their parents, as they become teenagers they find their own voice as they 'rebel' against their parents when they see their parents saying/acting the wrong way so I believe as your son goes through that age he will make more friends than enemies.
He will also find his voice and his niche and without a doubt, with his family's support, will flourish.
You can move to a more accepting area, that's not a terrible idea, but what does your son want?
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Brilliant, Daz.. Good advice about asking the sons' opinion on moving. The 17 year old also gets his say, though, doesn't he?
Lynnie, where's the child's father in all this?
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Well I assume the older bro would want what is best for his lil bro 
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Lynnie, be prepared for the 'sex' talk sooner rather than later including precautions, dangers and what no means...I was only a year older than your son when I became sexually active...back in the olden days
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Lynnie, first off all welcome to GS.  Secondly let me say that I think you are doing a great job with both of your children. I know it's still a little early with your youngest to say definetly for sure, but continue to be a loving, understanding, an encouraging parent just like you are doing now. Let both of your kids know that it's okay to talk about anything with you and that whatever choice they make in life you still love them and accept them for who they are. Best of luck. 
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There is very little you can do to change the world or to change others. The only thing you can change is yourself, your attitudes and how you behave. You can't make your neighbors change their behaviors, attitudes and themselves.
Kids are going to find some reason to make fun of your kid. Kids are cruel, they get crueler in their teens, many will (eventually) become nicer as puberty gives way to adulthood. A few just get meaner. From what I have observed babies are born pure evil, locked into "Me" and we have to teach them how to get along, how not to lie, how to share, how to play nice and all of these other things that civilization demands.
With a school within walking distance of my place, I get a gangs of thugs, erm children, who walk up and down the road twice a day. The horrible things that flow out of their mouths, the cruel teasing of each other. Leave it to Beaver was wrong about the innocence of children.
Fitting in is a problem for all teens. All of them. Then you have to consider if you really want your kid to be a popular kids "fitting in" with the popular kids is perhaps the worst thing that can happen to a person. The popular kids are usually the very worst when it comes to uncivilized behaviors. Yeah, sure, they know how to act well around adults, but think back to when you were in Jr and Sr High... how nice were the popular kids?
In order for you kids to 'fit in' with them, he will have to become like them. Do you want that?
He is going to be the butt of many jokes regardless of his sexuality, his weight, his beauty, his height, his skin color, is social/economic status. The only kids who are not the butt of any jokes are the bullies, the cruel tormentors who go around in packs and prey on innocent 'different' kids.
He is going to have to grow a thick skin or learn how to throw a punch. Yes i know, we teach pacifism to our children, but the prison yard, erm, school yard, is a war-zone.
You, Grandpa, Brother, et al, are doing the right thing. You are open, tolerant, loving and wanting to be a support system for him. I fear that that is about all you can do.
You can't change the world, you can't make the cruel nature of children nicer. You can learn your kids better, you can ride hard on them to insure that they behave outside of your line of sight as well as in it. But you can' do that for other people's.
You and he are going to have to accept these people, and learn to not allow their cruel words to affect you/him. Inoculation is the key. Exposure to the idiocy of the tormentors is the only way to grow a thick skin and move on.
Right now your kid is in school at a interesting time. There is much more awareness of bullying and tormenting, and schools, teachers and even other kids are becoming more proactive against the bullies. So he may actually have it easier than earlier generations.
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I think my son is gay. How can I help him?
