Dad Disowning His Gay Son

[princealbertofb]

The sad thing is, even if they do patch up in the future, there will always be the stain of this rejection letter... always, and it'll be indelible.

[East]

I think the father did the son a great favor. If I were his son I would interpret it as "Son...I am huge asshole and I am full of hate so for your own good I am removing myself from your life" ...and then forgive him so I wouldnt' have to become him someday.

I disowned both of my parents many years ago and I couldn't be happier with my decision. If I were the son I would turn tables on him so he didn't make me his victim and I would disown HIM for his blatant hatred...who needs someone like that in their life?

[Daniel]

At times I wounder what defines family, I think we can all agree that blood does not. In my eyes family is something you earn, not something you are born into.

That letter is horrible in every aspect of the sense but the person who wrote that isn't a father, it is a man who brought another life into this world, the two are far apart.
Most of us can create life, but how many can embrace it?

When I came out to my father his response was quiet displeasure but eventually he came to ground with it. I made it clear that "This is who I am, accept it or not, it's your choice. Today you've gotten to know me and today I will get to know YOU." I was happy with who he eventually turned out to be. That's all good and fun for me, but what I want to say is that we can live with and love a person our entire lives only to be discarded like trash on a whim...it hurts, but when you think about it, who have you actually lost? Doesn't seem like a person you want in your life in the long run anyways.

We miss the memories and the lie we thought we knew, we don't miss the person who stabbed us in our heart because we are human beings. That letter was a horrible thing to write and I am guessing that those withering words were written by an already withered man.

[Pix]

I hope the son handled parental rejection better than the girl this mother rejected with a similar letter:

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think I would have preferred a letter like this from my father.

He was too chicken-shit to say anything, instead he allowed his actions and long silences to drive me further away.

The best 'negative' I got from him was 'what will the neighbors think?' When I was begging to come back there to escape an abusive relationship.

Had my father made his real feelings clear to me, I most likely wouldn't have wasted a decade of my life attempting to play nice with him.

It would have been nicer to rip my heart out all at once instead of the slow dribble of contempt and silent hatred.

Parents, I don't need them. I have spent the last decade of my life out of contact with them and this has been the happiest decade of my life.

As it stands, should either one of them die I most likely won't know for years after the fact - if ever.

In a way this makes it clear where dad stands and should be 'easier' to 'get over' and move on.

I'm not saying its nice, or understandable, or even tolerable in the 21st century. I'm just saying its better than the other ways this could play out.

[Genersis]

I find it sad seeing people defend the fathers actions on the other site i post on.
The world is doomed if there are people so self righteous that they feel this is a father taking a stand against big bad homosexuality.:frown:
(Really wish i wasn't banned, would love to share my mind...)

[ChadCoxRox]

I think I would have preferred a letter like this from my father...I'm not saying its nice, or understandable, or even tolerable in the 21st century. I'm just saying its better than the other ways this could play out.

Sad to hear but way to common! I'm glad you are "better" during the last decade and will certainly resist my wishes it could be better with them. I know all too well it can be worse and more discouraging not to be able to just move on. Best wishes as you continue that journey!

[ardus]

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.
I know that my dad would not have approved of my lifestyle.
He would have seen it as a sin.
He died in 2000.
Part of me really regrets I never told him.
Part of me knows I had he would have not accepted it.
Every time I am home I visit his grave, I have yet to tell him the truth.
I don't know if I am scared of what he would say if he were alive or if I just don't want to disappoint him. I do know he would not approve.
I have a deep respect for him, maybe that gets in the way but I'm still scared to tell him.
Richard

[ChadCoxRox]

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.
I know that my dad would not have approved of my lifestyle.
He would have seen it as a sin.
He died in 2000.
Part of me really regrets I never told him.
Part of me knows I had he would have not accepted it.
Every time I am home I visit his grave, I have yet to tell him the truth.
I don't know if I am scared of what he would say if he were alive or if I just don't want to disappoint him. I do know he would not approve.
I have a deep respect for him, maybe that gets in the way but I'm still scared to tell him.
Richard

Maybe you share some of his beliefs and that has you trapped...but maybe not necessarily against your will. I love how you respect him even after he's passed away. I also like how you believe you can communicate with him (in some way or another) on a spiritual level. It it "gets in the way" I'd be very interested in hearing more about that. Thanks for sharing...

[behrens2001]

geez..what an asshole..whats wrong with those people...