10-08-2012, 01:07 PM
It's great that you're asking questions and willing to come to a site like this for input. Your
son is very fortunate. I'm no expert and can only offer my own experience as one who showed
"gay" traits from early ages, so much so that when I was 4, my military father forbade me
from playing with baby dolls. I remain closeted to my family, but I still get advice from my
parents about clothing and jewelry that "looks gay."
Despite their best efforts, I am who I am. A lifetime of pretending to be who I'm not only
resulted in two disasterous marriages and children who grew up without me in the home.
That being said, your son's choice of friends and other "feminine" traits don't necessarily
mean he's gay. A lot of "manly" guys are gay (thank the gods) and a lot of guys in
traditionally female roles are straight. Discouraging your son from feminine activities
could very well make him think that the man who will always be the most important man
in his life (you) thinks he's gay and end up causing the very confusion you're seeking to
avoid.
Our society encourages sensitivity and gentleness in men and the culture of our young
people demands openness to other lifestyles. Parenting a boy is tough today and
my heart is with you and your son.
son is very fortunate. I'm no expert and can only offer my own experience as one who showed
"gay" traits from early ages, so much so that when I was 4, my military father forbade me
from playing with baby dolls. I remain closeted to my family, but I still get advice from my
parents about clothing and jewelry that "looks gay."
Despite their best efforts, I am who I am. A lifetime of pretending to be who I'm not only
resulted in two disasterous marriages and children who grew up without me in the home.
That being said, your son's choice of friends and other "feminine" traits don't necessarily
mean he's gay. A lot of "manly" guys are gay (thank the gods) and a lot of guys in
traditionally female roles are straight. Discouraging your son from feminine activities
could very well make him think that the man who will always be the most important man
in his life (you) thinks he's gay and end up causing the very confusion you're seeking to
avoid.
Our society encourages sensitivity and gentleness in men and the culture of our young
people demands openness to other lifestyles. Parenting a boy is tough today and
my heart is with you and your son.