Making your partner orgasm while they are asleep?
11-23-2012, 10:47 AM
A bit of a weird thread, this, and probably not one that we can answer easily.
First, yes, it's a weird idea, but if the partner was consenting to the idea, I don't suppose there's anything wrong.
Many a time have I gone to bed with my partner feeling cuddly but not with enough energy to initiate any sex other than cuddling, and many a time have I said, if you wake up feeling horny, wake me up and let me know. I am not aware that he's ever tried the trick on me while I was asleep. Actually, I know he holds sleep as sacred and would never do that without my official consent.
But since your partner wanted to find out, well, that's different. He didn't even wake up?... Or maybe he enjoyed the deed, wasn't awake enough to wake up completely, pretended to be asleep (once he'd come, he probably went back to sleep for good, as one does, for those few minutes that it would have taken for the endorphines to kick in. If you want proof, take a picture next time.
I am surprised, however, that you don't know your partner's private body parts enough to recognise the signals they give when they are getting aroused and ready to ejaculate etc...
I think we can say that while sleeping, a lot of our nerve senses go to sleep too. Isn't that why we wake up sometimes, having slept in an awkward position, and feeling the pain of that (wrong) position? If we'd felt it, we'd have rectified our positioning to be more comfortable.
Another example I have is, I often go to sleep with the radio on, quite softly, but I can still hear it. It could keep me awake, and sometimes it does, But if I'm tired, I'll go to sleep at some point. I shut my body down. Once I go to sleep, I don't ''hear'' it, my ears can probably hear it, but my brain doesn't register the words, not consciously at any rate. When I wake up, I think, oh, didn't I leave the radio on? Then by atuning my ears again, I hear that it is on, low, and the sound comes rushing back. I think our brains switch off certain things.
However the sex instinct is situated in a different part of the brain, so it may react differently. I'd go with Counselor, that it was probably experienced as a wet dream. We know that dreams are experienced in one of the phases of sleep (is it the alpha or beta phase? look up ''dream'') and that's when the brain experiences quite intense activity while the rest of the body is at rest.
If we didn't turn off sensitivity while sleeping, and relax all those parts so they can mend or regenerate more easily, then anaesthetics probably wouldn't work while we're having surgical operations.
I go with Rainbowmum about asking him, but he says he can't believe you did it. So it sounds like he has no recollection. Who's to say that he wasn't having a pleasant sexual dream 10 minutes later when he was ready to wake up (they only take a few seconds) and feeling relaxed from the job you'd done previously (for which, I'm guessing, he'd have had the endorphines and the orgasm, if he came). It would be plausible that the two events were sort of disconnected, one happening as an aftershoot of the deed, and leading to moaning because the dream was pleasant.
One thing puzzles me, though. Our hearts have to be pumping at a certain rate for us to experience orgasm and ejaculate, did his pulse augment as you were performing? If it did, then his sexual body was responding, whether he was consciously aware of it or not. I know an erection is not completely necessary to reach ejaculation, but did he show one of those? Next time, it seems to me (if there is a next time) you should try to be more aware of the signs yourself, as you perform. Mind, though, that you ascertain it IS all right for you to try again while he's sleeping. You wouldn't want him to feel violated or wake up in a grumpy mood. If all this is part of your (joint) sex play, then it's fine. Otherwise, it's a bit like rape, don't you think?
First, yes, it's a weird idea, but if the partner was consenting to the idea, I don't suppose there's anything wrong.
Many a time have I gone to bed with my partner feeling cuddly but not with enough energy to initiate any sex other than cuddling, and many a time have I said, if you wake up feeling horny, wake me up and let me know. I am not aware that he's ever tried the trick on me while I was asleep. Actually, I know he holds sleep as sacred and would never do that without my official consent.
But since your partner wanted to find out, well, that's different. He didn't even wake up?... Or maybe he enjoyed the deed, wasn't awake enough to wake up completely, pretended to be asleep (once he'd come, he probably went back to sleep for good, as one does, for those few minutes that it would have taken for the endorphines to kick in. If you want proof, take a picture next time.
I am surprised, however, that you don't know your partner's private body parts enough to recognise the signals they give when they are getting aroused and ready to ejaculate etc...
I think we can say that while sleeping, a lot of our nerve senses go to sleep too. Isn't that why we wake up sometimes, having slept in an awkward position, and feeling the pain of that (wrong) position? If we'd felt it, we'd have rectified our positioning to be more comfortable.
Another example I have is, I often go to sleep with the radio on, quite softly, but I can still hear it. It could keep me awake, and sometimes it does, But if I'm tired, I'll go to sleep at some point. I shut my body down. Once I go to sleep, I don't ''hear'' it, my ears can probably hear it, but my brain doesn't register the words, not consciously at any rate. When I wake up, I think, oh, didn't I leave the radio on? Then by atuning my ears again, I hear that it is on, low, and the sound comes rushing back. I think our brains switch off certain things.
However the sex instinct is situated in a different part of the brain, so it may react differently. I'd go with Counselor, that it was probably experienced as a wet dream. We know that dreams are experienced in one of the phases of sleep (is it the alpha or beta phase? look up ''dream'') and that's when the brain experiences quite intense activity while the rest of the body is at rest.
If we didn't turn off sensitivity while sleeping, and relax all those parts so they can mend or regenerate more easily, then anaesthetics probably wouldn't work while we're having surgical operations.
I go with Rainbowmum about asking him, but he says he can't believe you did it. So it sounds like he has no recollection. Who's to say that he wasn't having a pleasant sexual dream 10 minutes later when he was ready to wake up (they only take a few seconds) and feeling relaxed from the job you'd done previously (for which, I'm guessing, he'd have had the endorphines and the orgasm, if he came). It would be plausible that the two events were sort of disconnected, one happening as an aftershoot of the deed, and leading to moaning because the dream was pleasant.
One thing puzzles me, though. Our hearts have to be pumping at a certain rate for us to experience orgasm and ejaculate, did his pulse augment as you were performing? If it did, then his sexual body was responding, whether he was consciously aware of it or not. I know an erection is not completely necessary to reach ejaculation, but did he show one of those? Next time, it seems to me (if there is a next time) you should try to be more aware of the signs yourself, as you perform. Mind, though, that you ascertain it IS all right for you to try again while he's sleeping. You wouldn't want him to feel violated or wake up in a grumpy mood. If all this is part of your (joint) sex play, then it's fine. Otherwise, it's a bit like rape, don't you think?
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