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I'm in love with my student, what should I do?
#1
I'm 24 years old and originally I'm from Russia. My mother married an englishman, so I had to move to England at the age of sixteen, which was obviously not the best thing for a teenager. I struggled to fit in for a while. It just started to get better: I learned how to speak english and found a job. Right at the moment I am working at school as a maths teacher. So everything was perfect, before I fell in love with my male student. He is 15 and I am kinda sure he likes men. And I knew he had a thing for me from the very first day. Having problems with mathematics he asked me to give him some private lessons, which I did, so I had a chance to watch his behavior. He gazed at me, blushed when talking to me, he even wrote me a touching love note, which I actually never received, but I saw it during the class. I mean I can tell he is in love.
I treated him as a child, of course, and always kept a distance, though he is really cute and feminine, and well...that's just what I like. But soon I realized I feel sick when he is not around. And I feel like I want to kiss him, touch him, hug him. He is an angel, he can always make me smile and everybody likes him and I really have no intention to hurt him or to be physical with him. I just want to let him know how much I love him and want to be his boyfriend. I hate myself, but I can't help it. Please, don't call me a pedophile, we got to know each other, he turned out to be a wonderful person and I fell for him, it's not because I am attracted to children. It's just him.
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#2
I don't think you can call yourself a pedophile. I mean 15 is an age where you can feel those stuff. And i want to tell you that this is perfectly normal. BUT you are a teacher and he is your student. I think you should keep it professional. Don't push him away, just be carefull with your feelings.
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#3
sorry I disgaree, that is disgusting, he is 15, he is still a child </3
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#4
I'll take all of your opinions under consideration, it's just I can't stay away from him. I wish I could, but I can't. And it becomes harder and harder, because he also wants to be loved by me. I heard him crying in the hallway recently and I'm pretty sure I was the reason to that.
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#5
It doesn't matter how you feel, 15 is still a child. It's like what Rumble said, you need to keep your relationship professional. If he is gay, I don't think it's bad form to help him understand his feelings and let him know you can be his friend to help him through what he's feeling, but that doesn't mean he's mature enough to consent to a romantic relationship with an adult, especially with an authority figure. He can find love with other BOYS his age just like you can find love with other MEN your age. If you can't control your feelings, than you need to find him another tutor and possibly find a reasonable excuse to transfer him to a different class.
I wanted to add that I understand that the "age of consent" is a bit of an arbitrary line. There are 16 year olds that are more mature than 19 years olds and so on. But it exists for a reason: to ensure the safety and well-being of children. Just keep that in mind.
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#6
Aww this is sweet. I just think you should be very very careful with this, for if you were to get caught, your job and relationship would be in serious trouble.
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#7
Alexander, also keep in mind, that it is easy to fall in love with a teacher. You can easily be his first love and he may expect very different things from the relationship than you do. Even a simple kiss could freak him out. Maybe all he is looking for is emotional closeness.
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#8
Nick9 Wrote:Alexander, also keep in mind, that it is easy to fall in love with a teacher. You can easily be his first love and he may expect very different things from the relationship than you do. Even a simple kiss could freak him out. Maybe all he is looking for is emotional closeness.

How could anyone be emotionally close with his teacher? I mean we can't be close for at least one reason - he is way younger than me, like nine years or so. We don't share interests and stuff.
Anyways, I would agree with you, but I see him everyday and he looks totally broken-down. It's hard to watch like someone you love is getting hurt because of you. I am confused, I totally don't know what to do. I gotta talk to him tomorrow, but I have no idea what to say...
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#9
I agree with nick.
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#10
Hello Alexander.

I am not going to call you a pedophile , but I will say that if you act on your emotions , you will be abusing your position as an educator.

What you can do is explain this to him. or you could resign your position as a teacher .
I am not sure what the age of consent is , but you really must wait until then.

If you love him , you will wait for him.
Please do not do anything to encourage him right now , he is in your care and as an educator you have a duty of care .
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