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I'm in love with my student, what should I do?
#11
Rainbowmum Wrote:I am not sure what the age of consent is , but you really must wait until then.

I'm not going to have sex with him, so why should I care about the age of consent? I'm talking about dating only. No sex.
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#12
Dating can be just as detrimental and inappropriate. Think of all the emotions that come into play. Worse... Think of all the emotions that come into play if it doesn't work out. You really think he could handle all of that? And think, if you're having difficulty keeping yourself from dating him, you think you can control yourself from having sex after you've elevated the relationship romantically?
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#13
brituc1 Wrote:Dating can be just as detrimental and inappropriate. Think of all the emotions that come into play. Worse... Think of all the emotions that come into play if it doesn't work out. You really think he could handle all of that? And think, if you're having difficulty keeping yourself from dating him, you think you can control yourself from having sex after you've elevated the relationship romantically?

Handle what???
That's different. True, it will be hard not to go further, but I won't do that, just because I know that sleeping with an adult might hurt him. Being loved - no.
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#14
First teacher/student is a very bad idea, even if he were your age and this were university.

Second, he is not of the age of consent yet - yes I know it's 16 in Moscow so, if you act before then, I'm with Mum on calling you a pedophile, after that, I would still not approve but, legally there would be nothing wrong with it.

I would say don't do it, but it's you life, and in a few months, his choice to make.
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#15
Alexander Wrote:Handle what???
That's different. True, it will be hard not to go further, but I won't do that, just because I know that sleeping with an adult might hurt him. Being loved - no.

Are you really that naive that you don't think a relationship can hurt him? Best case scenario is the two of you grow old together which is fine and dandy. But what if in a couple of years you fall outta love with him? What if you fall for someone else? What if you decide your relationship feels more like babysitting than romance? This will be his first love and if it ends, you don't think it will devastate him? Diminish his capacity to form future healthy relationships? What about the opposite: he decides he fell in love too early and wants out? What if he falls for someone else (closer to his age that he can relate to better) can you handle that? What about the stigma if you get caught dating a minor?
I doubt he's thought of any of this because, guess what, he's a kid. As an adult you need to look at this from every angle and if you actually do love, you wouldn't be selfish enough to ignore how much damage you can do this kid. If he loves you, he should be willing to wait til he's old enough to handle a relationship. Then the two of you can consider taking things to a romantic level.
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#16
i think this is totally wrong. you should just leave it be, resign or change school boards altogether.

if you act on it, i really hope you get caught and are exposed. i dont agree with this under-age crap. or teacher/student crap. go find someone your own age.
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#17
Oh Alexander ~ you are in a pickle. First off, at his age you are having a "ebeophilic obsession". Ebeophile, not pedophile. Big 'ol difference even if he is still underage, really.
BUT I'm not so sure you've thought all this through like others have suggested - one, you say you "love" him but you haven't said a thing about what happens if you do lead him on and he gets hurt. That's why I think you, like any of us can, let yourself get a little wrapped up here and may be confusing some issues we can't see because we don't know either of you.
As far as all your "What sex I am talking about dating not sex" - do you think apples fall off trees different over here on this side of the ocean? I mean come on - you guys over there CAN'T be that much different from any others anywhere else to be trying to convince yourself and us that.
You better be careful with him. What if you are both fine and he gets hurt by others over it?
Maybe if WILL help if you try thinking about all the things that could go wrong for him - and YOU because you are having a daydream right now where everything is gonna go right. That doesn't happen at any age. Boys do need guys and certainly at this time of life but like others have suggested I think what he thinks and what you think can't possibly be the same.
All I can say is I don't believe you for a minute, so I'll just pray that you both navigate this ok. Pretty risky fantasy - that you've already taken to obsession. Think about that word there for a minute man.
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#18
You're in love with your student. what you should do should be simple. Not pursuer it.
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#19
It's not pedophilia, in so far that it doesn't involve any morbid psychology. However, it is unprofessional, immoral, and illegal.
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#20
[quote=Alexander]I'm not going to have sex with him, so why should I care about the age of consent? I'm talking about dating only. No sex.[/QUOTE

Weither it's a sexual act or not, You're risking alot.
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