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I'm in love with my student, what should I do?
#81
Regardless of the, perhaps, aggressive language used by Ivory. He's right that this infatuation is indicative of a lack of emotional maturity. The relationship is not merely illegal, it is also morally problematic. This is a child who is not fully mature, is inexperienced, is not economically independent, and is in a position of subordination to you as a student. It is unprofessional, you don't seem to be cognizant of the professional obligations of an educator. I would never consider a relationship with any student of mine, and the pupils I work with are all adults. You are in a position of authority, and that comes with responsibilities, chief amongst which should be to not use your students for your own gratification.

Find someone your own damn age.
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#82
I talked to him. And I feel even more messed up than before. We had a long conversation, well, actually I was the one who was talking.
I told him that I know he has a crush on me and that he can't have those feelings because I am his teacher and stuff. I think I was a little bit too rough with my intonation and voice, but I just tried not to show my own emotions. Anyways he started to cry and ran away. And, god, I just .. I feel so bad. I thought I, maybe, have to call him and apologize. .
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#83
Alexander Wrote:I talked to him. And I feel even more messed up than before. We had a long conversation, well, actually I was the one who was talking.
I told him that I know he has a crush on me and that he can't have those feelings because I am his teacher and stuff. I think I was a little bit too rough with my intonation and voice, but I just tried not to show my own emotions. Anyways he started to cry and ran away. And, god, I just .. I fell so bad. I thought I, maybe, have to call him and apologize. .

Again: ^ NOT this. Apologizing is a mixed signal, it shows that you still care for him and out will confuse or mislead him. He will cry no matter how you end it, the point being you ended it, and before things got out of control. I'm proud of you.
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#84
Counselor Wrote:it shows that you still care for him.

But I DO CARE.
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#85
As a trainee teacher I am disgusted, I'd say back off this is a serious child protection issue.
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#86
what should you do ?

nothing
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#87
Alexander Wrote:But I DO CARE.

I didn't mean to imply that you don't care, but if the boy knows you care, and clings to that, it can confuse and mislead him.
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#88
Better he think you don't care than to hold out a hope for you when he needs to be finding dates his own age - as do you.

It's part of growing up for most, you have a crush, the crush makes it clear there is no chance, you get upset, you get over it. Let it be and let him get over it in his own way.
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#89
Students look up to their teachers as role models not lovers. Sorry but let the feelings that you have for them go. It wouldn't look good to your co-workers or fellow students.

But I'm just giving advice.

Hope you decide what's best
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#90
I am proud of you for doing the right thing , I know it must have been an emotional roller-coaster for you, since you care for him deeply.

As horrible as you feel right now , take solace in knowing you did right by him.
Bighug
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