Corsac Wrote:Surely if you're that into someone then there should be no need to even consider a third party for sexual activities, and theres tons of things that couples can do alone together to get some excitement if thats needed. Also adding a third person to the mix can bring a whole host of problems too if the couple doesn't have that strong of a bond.
Personally I couldn't have a threesome, I'm the type to commit myself to 1 person.
I agree completely.
It's things like threesome's that give Gays such a bad name.
The first thing people say when they find out I'm gay is 'oh i'll keep my guy/son/brother etc away from you then' like I'm gunna shag any guy at the drop of a hat.
I'm sorry, but threesome's in a relationship is wrong.
If you can't be happy with the 1 person you are supposed to love, then why are you with him?
If my partner ever suggested that to me, he would be out the door.
As I said above, threesomes have their place... but that place is not with commited couples.
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megumidesu Wrote:maybe you just have different values or views on monogamy than other people do .
of course it has an impact . i'm just saying that , for many people , it's not a big deal and they can have threesomes without the impact being one that affects their entire relationship forever ~
Yes, I hold my own views of which I don't have anyone else dictate how I think, but many people who I have spoken to also see monogamy as 1 partner both sexually and romantically.
If having a threesome isn't a big deal then wheres the need for it in a so-called monogamous relationship? The things you do with your partner of choice is a big deal because its a part of your relationship.
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Marc Wrote:I agree completely.
It's things like threesome's that give Gays such a bad name.
The first thing people say when they find out I'm gay is 'oh i'll keep my guy/son/brother etc away from you then' like I'm gunna shag any guy at the drop of a hat.
I'm sorry, but threesomes in a relationship is wrong.
If you can't be happy with the 1 person you are supposed to love, then why are you with him?
If my partner ever suggested that to me, he would be out the door.
As I said above, threesomes have their place... but that place is not with commited couples.
I'd like to object to that, because it seems to me that gays are not the only ones to have threesomes, or even foursomes. As for the other comment, I think there would be plenty of solid couples who'd probably disagree. It really is a question of personal comfort with such things.
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princealbertofb Wrote:I'd like to object to that, because it seems to me that gays are not the only ones to have threesomes, or even foursomes. As for the other comment, I think there would be plenty of solid couples who'd probably disagree. It really is a question of personal comfort with such things.
i agree with all that ^
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Marc Wrote:It is that simple.
If you love your partner, then why do you need anybody else? Is monogamy a dirty word all of a sudden?
Let's consider that one of the people in the loving couple cannot, for some reason, perform sexually. Would it be so wrong for the other one to get sex with a chosen person, someone that the couple both know will accept to be helping out sexually? This person could well be an escort, for instance.
It might be the case for someone who's suddenly become disabled. I'm thinking of a couple I know, where one is disabled. They love each other; it is quite clear, but where does the valid one get sexual gratification?
I'm also thinking, what if one of the members of the couple is bisexual, while the other is not. Would it be so odd to consider that the bisexual one is allowed to have sex with the other gender (maybe again a chosen person), so that something isn't missing for their personal balance?
These couples may still think of themselves as monogamous, even though some aspects of their relationship allow for the occasional open relationship. To me this is a different situation from saying that the couple have an open relationship where each one is allowed to pursue sexual gratification elsewhere than in the couple.
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I disagree strongly Prince.
If you are in a committed relationship with somebody you love, you are making an unwritten contract to love and cherish the person no matter what.
Sex is not everything.
If 1 partner is suddenly disabled, then it is the other partners job to look after him, not to go bed hopping because he's horny.
The same goes for being Bisexual, you have chosen to be with the person, nobody has forced you.
I just think we are in a very sad time when this is even discussed, let alone acted out.
Where has the respect for others, and more importantly yourself, gone?
princealbertofb Wrote:I'd like to object to that, because it seems to me that gays are not the only ones to have threesomes, or even foursomes. As for the other comment, I think there would be plenty of solid couples who'd probably disagree. It really is a question of personal comfort with such things.
Regarding the above, in no way did I say 3sums, 4sums, 12sums whatever, are a gay thing.. What I did say is that it is mainly associated with the gay life style, and this thread alone show's some truth in that.
You simply can not have your cake and eat it!
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right . sex isn't everything .
so why would it matter if some couples are capable of having threesomes sometimes ?
it's still possible to love and cherish one person and have a threesome .
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Perhaps I'm nitpicking but I see a difference between a threesome (as in having a "guest star") and a polyamorous relationship, likewise there's a difference between that and having an "open" relationship and swinging (heck, even polygamy is different from polyamory).
As for having a threesome I'd think that was just a more extreme form of playing porn (but then some DO consider watching porn to be cheating...).
And then there are more complicated reasons, still...like there are a surprising number of women who like to have "threesomes" in which they get another woman but then leave her with her husband alone (that is, she didn't want to be there at all and finding another was just her way of getting out of a chore). Granted, I don't know why such women (or men, if they do something similar) don't just leave (and just agree to be friends if they love each other).
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Ive always fantasized about twin cowboys, but in reality I couldnt do it.
If you have issues with this, then they need to be addressed, regardless of your feelings.
What would be better, being a little uncomfortable saying something now or having a fight about it later?
And Im certainly not trying to be negative here, but Ive dealt with this issue before, and I have to say it never leads to anything good. Bascially, unless you are a couple who actually is "into" threesomes, this shows that he is someone who isnt reliable. In other words, he has it in his nature to cheat.
Without getting on my "soapbox", this is a common type of problem. People get together but dont really talk to each other before starting a relationship. Then later on they start finding all these things out about each other and problems develop, feelings get hurt, and breakups happen. COMMUNICATION and FULL BLOWN DISCLOSURE is what is needed BEFORE going into a relationship, and it just isnt done.
Im not saying your relationship wont work, and Im not saying he IS a cheater, but these are the facts I have assessed along the way with the information I have gotten from previous people I've helped with this issue.
BUT...you wont know anything if you dont TALK to him!! This could be no more than a simple fantasy on his part. If you tell him how you feel about it, he could just drop the subject and go on being happy with you.
Nothing good will come of any problem unless you talk about it. You will feel a lot better once you talk about it, and he will know where you stand on the subject.
Good Luck
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Marc Wrote:I disagree strongly Prince.
If you are in a committed relationship with somebody you love, you are making an unwritten contract to love and cherish the person no matter what.
Sex is not everything.
If 1 partner is suddenly disabled, then it is the other partners job to look after him, not to go bed hopping because he's horny.
The same goes for being Bisexual, you have chosen to be with the person, nobody has forced you.
I just think we are in a very sad time when this is even discussed, let alone acted out.
Where has the respect for others, and more importantly yourself, gone?
Regarding the above, in no way did I say 3sums, 4sums, 12sums whatever, are a gay thing.. What I did say is that it is mainly associated with the gay life style, and this thread alone show's some truth in that.
You simply can not have your cake and eat it!
I can think that the partner who is disabled would be the one WANTING their partner to be getting the sex that they are no longer capable of giving, precisely because they love them.... It's a loving act too. But see it your own way if that's what you want to do.
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