I am confused again

[CoffeeBean85]

Hell yeah I'd date a bisexual. I guess most gay guys are afraid of the fact that bisexuals are more risky to date since they are attracted to both sexes and may leave 'em for a girl. But love in general is always a risk isn't it? I can relate when you say it isn't fair that gay guys put you off just because you are bi. For me, being asian already puts me at a disadvantage sometimes when I'm not some people's "preferred" race, but whatever. Why limit the dating pool even further than it already is right? Just my 2 cents. Oh and bisexuals are usually hot anyway

[hank]

Hell yeah I'd date a bisexual. I guess most gay guys are afraid of the fact that bisexuals are more risky to date since they are attracted to both sexes and may leave 'em for a girl. But love in general is always a risk isn't it? I can relate when you say it isn't fair that gay guys put you off just because you are bi. For me, being asian already puts me at a disadvantage sometimes when I'm not some people's "preferred" race, but whatever. Why limit the dating pool even further than it already is right? Just my 2 cents. Oh and bisexuals are usually hot anyway

Boy i like your post, love is absolutely risky, with great risk comes great reward. I just can't figure out why its worse if the guy runs of with a woman as opposed to a man.

[AquaKnight]

It's kind of sad to see all the negative attitudes towards bisexuality....Everyone is justifying it saying that it is a cover... how is that any better than when a gay person is asked if they are just going through a phase...as an already marginalized group we should be more sensitive to understanding differences among people and respecting them....no one should be denied their identity to suit someone else's limited ability to grasp concepts they don't live with themselves....and as for being afraid bisexuals will cheat if you are in a relationship with a person you are with that specific person regardless of gender......and what if he does cheat....that doesn't mean bisexuals are cheaters it means you picked an asshole.....cheaters cheat straight gay bi pan and everything else.....this is a stupid stigma that we as gays should not be supporting.

[posterpicture]

Thanks for making the effort, I think bisexuals are a tiny minority compared to monosexuals, and that being said most people just don't think about them.

All I really think that gives a bisexual person a hard time is that it just isn't fully understood.

That too if you saw a guy kissing a lady you would think they were both straight, obviously, they both could be bi, if you saw them kissing their genders you would think they AR gay, bi would never cross your mind.

I am not a both at once kind of guy.

Indeed, according to some newest studies and fluid gender identity theory, most people are in the middle or so call "bisexual".
I don't believe sexual orientation is black and white or in boxes of "bisexual", "homosexual", "asexual" ... or so on. Like most intelligent creatures, human love to standardize things because it 's how we was taught in nature to survive ( like we learned how to put different plants and animals in group since the very beginning to know which one we should eat and which one will eat us ).
That is why we put sexual identification in these groups. However, seeing sexual identity that way is just like seeing people only as Black, White, Asian or so on while a large amount of population are mixed races.

And as for your dating question:
If a guy pulls it out because you are bisexual then you shouldn't bother to think about him. Obviously, he is not a right choice. Why care about dating a guy who doens't like you for who you are? it 's just like you should never date a guy who doesn't love you because of your hair or your nose. Just move to the next candidate, still plenty of fish in the pool.
And guys who argue that dating a bisexual is risky is pathetic. If you don't trust your partner then why even date him? If you are not confident in your relationship then it 's basically over from the beginning. A good guy just simply doesn't cheat on you and a wrong choice would; doesn't matter if it would be a girl or a guy.

[megumidesu]

I just can't figure out why its worse if the guy runs of with a woman as opposed to a man.

^ agreed >____<

[Marvinteck]

It’s this kind of playing both sides of the field when convenient that gay men don’t like. Since you don’t identify as gay, you don’t feel compelled to be part of the gay culture. You love the benefits of being with gay men and all the acceptance we have fought for, but when push comes to shove, always turn around and say “oh I’m really not part of that because I am not gay. “

Just because a person is bisexual does not mean that they care any less about the fight for equality. I have been out to my family and friends for a little over two years now. I am also out on Facebook which I have ninety friends on there, nine of them are coworkers. I publicly post Pro-LGBT articles and news all the time on my wall. I dont try to hide the fact that I am a member of the LGBT community and that I want equality for all. In the workplace I keep things on a professional level and don't dwelve into my personal life unless it is appropriate for the conversation at hand.

I must admit I dont feel compelled to go out to the local gay bar. The whole bar and club scene is not my cup of tea. Trying to immerse myself in the bar scene would be like trying to mix oil and water. I have an introverted intellectual type personality and dislike the straight bar scene as well. Unfortunately with me living in the south the nearest LGBT organizations and pride events are over ninety minutes away from me. I wish I could immerse myself more into that side of the gay culture.

Since coming out two years ago I have been actively researching the history of the LGBT community and the current issues at hand. I have also looked into LGBT rights abroad. I have found when used correctly the world wide web can be a powerful activism tool in regards to education and challenging the status quo by mobilizing the LGBT community at large. I would have to disagree with the assertion that bisexuals distance themselves from the fight for equality. From a conservative stand point bisexuals are just as evil, wrong and sinful as the rest of the LGBT community. As an bisexual I would be foolish if I did not challenge bigotry and discrimination by championing equality for all. Just my two cents on the matter.

if i were bisexual, i would keep it to myself.

as such, if i were to fall in love with a girl, i would tell her i am straight. if i were to fall in love with a bloke, i would tell him im gay.

what does it matter anyway?

so ask yourself this: why do you feel the need to reveal yourself as a bisexual? does it make you feel better? but it really bothers me that bisexuals always have to make a point about being bisexual. they go into gay sites, gay bars, gay nightclubs with a sign reading "im bisexual.“

The expectation of bisexuals to lie about there orientation is absurd. Secondly conservatives use arguments quite similar to yours against all LGBT people that step out of the closet into the public square. They claim gays and lesbians are flaunting there sexuality by coming out of the closet and are bothered by the fact that people are walking around in public with a sign that says "Im Gay". Conservatives make statements like:

"Why is coming out of the closet so important to gays?",

"Why does it matter?"

"Gays should keep there mouth shut by staying in the closet and leave what happens behind closed doors behind closed doors".

Conservatives believe the whole LGBT community should stay silent and be satisfied with the status qou. For members of the gay community to assert that bisexuals need to tone down the free expression of our sexuality is absurd and is not much different from when a conservative tries to force a gay person back into the closet.

[MikeMG]

To fear a bi guy you are dating to run off with a woman is an odd one, is it better if a gay guy runs off with another guy? It seems like you would be insulted more if the person they left you for was a woman. My question is does it hurt any less?

You don't understand. It's not about the amount of hurt a gay man would feel if you left for one sex or the other. It's more like a feeling of betrayal.

If you ran off with another man, it would be like a straight couple doing the same thing. But if you ran off with a woman, on top of the normal feeling of hurt, there is a feeling by some gay men that you also left because you want to live the easy, Leave it to Beaver lifestyle that a gay man can not give you. Marriage for gay men is still mostly illegal in this country, and even if it dose pass, there 50 percent still think its wrong. Running off with a woman you would never have to feel that.

You wont spend the rest of your life concerned about what people think about your relationship if you are in a straight one. In a gay one, no matter how much you accept yourself, people outside your circle may not. No one is going to show up to your wedding with signs saying God Hates Straights.

Maybe you don't feel that way, but its been done so many times by people over the decades who identify as bi that its become a thing to worry about if you date someone who swings both ways.

[MikeMG]

The thing I don't really understand is the handful of guys I have dated say they want a manly guy, they typically aren't but that really doesn't bother me a whole lot. Bi men are an untapped recourse for the guys that want manly men, as has been the standard of bisexual men I have met.all be it that is two aside from myself but either way, why would sexuality stop somebody, certainly wouldn't stop me.

Uh, ok, thats a big generalization. Maybe you just like fem boys.

Straight guys are a lot less manly they they used to be with Metrosexuals, attentive dads, sharing feelings, caring about their looks, hipsters, and the list goes on. I know quite a few very many gay men. In fact more, because they embrace manliness and male sexuality without without the hangups of trying to please women. For example, a segment of the gay male community are really into men smelling like men, cologne is a no no. How many women do you know are into that? There is way more manliness in the gay community if you just stop dating feminine boys.

Step into a leather bar or bear bar ....then report back.

[posterpicture]

Uh, ok, thats a big generalization. Maybe you just like fem boys.

Straight guys are a lot less manly they they used to be with Metrosexuals, attentive dads, sharing feelings, caring about their looks, hipsters, and the list goes on. I know quite a few very many gay men. In fact more, because they embrace manliness and male sexuality without without the hangups of trying to please women. For example, a segment of the gay male community are really into men smelling like men, cologne is a no no. How many women do you know are into that? There is way more manliness in the gay community if you just stop dating feminine boys.

Step into a leather bar or bear bar ....then report back.

It 's an irony how you just said "thats a big generalization" and then followed by "Maybe you just like fem boys. "

I have no idea where you live but newest studies show that the product industry in the US have overthrown the definition of men smell like men. For me, a real man smell like the expensive cologne he could afford. Real man = successful man who can take care of himself and know how to invest in his image. Men who smell like sweat and dirty socks all the time gross me out. Looser can't take care of himself or his public image is a no no.

Dating feminine boys doesn't make anyone more or less masculine. And who define what is masculinity by the way?
Masculinity is something by perception and different people or group of people have different perception.

For example, wearing feather and make-up is totally feminien in the eyes of average people who live in the United States now a day.
But in Africa, only the most fearless male warrior is qualified to wear colorful facial paints. Or in native American tribal culture, only the head of the tribe can wear a feather headdress.

[posterpicture]

You wont spend the rest of your life concerned about what people think about your relationship if you are in a straight one. In a gay one, no matter how much you accept yourself, people outside your circle may not. No one is going to show up to your wedding with signs saying God Hates Straights.

Maybe you don't feel that way, but its been done so many times by people over the decades who identify as bi that its become a thing to worry about if you date someone who swings both ways.

What you said si biphobia and it 's just all based on bias assumption just like how many people said hanging out with gay guys will make you do gay things.

You shouldn't have to concern about your relationship at all if it 's the right one. I don't think anyone's relationship should be the matter of other people's concerns.
IF you really love someone the just say fuck it, I am getting married to that guys/girls.