MikeMG Wrote:As far as I know, when someone tells me they are bisexual, I think oh, unusual, didn't know that, not disgusting or promiscuous. If anything, gay men have the promiscuous reputation. It sounds like you are projecting your own fears onto people you dont even know. How many people have you told in person about your sexuality have turned around and made remarks about being disgusting? .....Parents don't count.
I have people in gay community told me straight to my face that "Don't think that just because you are bi, you are more masculine ( for them it 's attractive, welcome to small world of Texas ), in fact that just make you a grade A faggot".
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I think I'm a little standoffish about someone who is bi. I would prefer to date someone who is gay and knows what he wants. I think maybe its just to do with confidence.
I used to think I was bi, but then I realized I have a PREFERENCE for men. If I enjoy sex with women, but at the same time I enjoy sex with men more, then I think this should be what I stick with. And then I did. I also lost almost all my attraction for women as well after some time. I think a lot of people who are bisexual do so because of societal pressures to not be fully "gay".
A friend of mine made a good point, although some people may find this ignorant. He believes that no one is truly bisexual, and that you would definitely have a preference. Once I heard this, it hit me like a brick, and I KNEW that I had a preference. I wasn't bi, I was actually gay and being bi was just my defence mechanism for being gay. I realized I had considered myself bi because I figured I could still be with a woman someday, get married and have kids and satisfy my parents, etc. Just give it some time and figure out what you actually enjoy. What do you think of something like this?
•
jdawg903 Wrote:I think I'm a little standoffish about someone who is bi. I would prefer to date someone who is gay and knows what he wants. I think maybe its just to do with confidence.
I used to think I was bi, but then I realized I have a PREFERENCE for men. If I enjoy sex with women, but at the same time I enjoy sex with men more, then I think this should be what I stick with. And then I did. I also lost almost all my attraction for women as well after some time. I think a lot of people who are bisexual do so because of societal pressures to not be fully "gay".
A friend of mine made a good point, although some people may find this ignorant. He believes that no one is truly bisexual, and that you would definitely have a preference. Once I heard this, it hit me like a brick, and I KNEW that I had a preference. I wasn't bi, I was actually gay and being bi was just my defence mechanism for being gay. I realized I had considered myself bi because I figured I could still be with a woman someday, get married and have kids and satisfy my parents, etc. Just give it some time and figure out what you actually enjoy. What do you think of something like this? I think it's a good thing you didn't get married.
•
Counselor Wrote:I think it's a good thing you didn't get married.
I don't think marriage was ever in the cards with someone yet for me, but I was referring to the prospect of marriage in the future.
It is definitely a good thing I didn't get married (nor have I had the opportunity yet) as I am still in school and too young for it.
•
Jdawg903 I used to think I was gay. I am not indecisive, I am not confused, what was confusing was trying to force a label that didn't fit like gay or straight. I an not gay our straight, it isn't four my parents that I think I am bisexual it is my latent attraction to women that seemed to spring up out of nowhere. I could understand your irrespective going from thinking you are bi to learning you are gay, it worked in reverse for me, i went from strictly bring attracted to men to being attracted to women also. So I went from gay to bisexual mainly because I stopped trying to force monosexuality that didn't fit.
•
jdawg903 Wrote:I think I'm a little standoffish about someone who is bi. I would prefer to date someone who is gay and knows what he wants. I think maybe its just to do with confidence.
I used to think I was bi, but then I realized I have a PREFERENCE for men. If I enjoy sex with women, but at the same time I enjoy sex with men more, then I think this should be what I stick with. And then I did. I also lost almost all my attraction for women as well after some time. I think a lot of people who are bisexual do so because of societal pressures to not be fully "gay".
A friend of mine made a good point, although some people may find this ignorant. He believes that no one is truly bisexual, and that you would definitely have a preference. Once I heard this, it hit me like a brick, and I KNEW that I had a preference. I wasn't bi, I was actually gay and being bi was just my defence mechanism for being gay. I realized I had considered myself bi because I figured I could still be with a woman someday, get married and have kids and satisfy my parents, etc. Just give it some time and figure out what you actually enjoy. What do you think of something like this?
i think that's a very ignorant view of bisexuality .
there are many bisexual people who are confident in themselves and know exactly what they want . they just happen to be able to love someone regardless of that person's gender.
•
hank Wrote:Jdawg903 I used to think I was gay. I am not indecisive, I am not confused, what was confusing was trying to force a label that didn't fit like gay or straight. I an not gay our straight, it isn't four my parents that I think I am bisexual it is my latent attraction to women that seemed to spring up out of nowhere. I could understand your irrespective going from thinking you are bi to learning you are gay, it worked in reverse for me, i went from strictly bring attracted to men to being attracted to women also. So I went from gay to bisexual mainly because I stopped trying to force monosexuality that didn't fit.
Thanks for the reply. I never quite knew a lot about bisexuality so it was good to hear your side of the story, so thanks for educating me on the matter 
Well dude, I think when you find someone, whether it be a man or a woman and they are actually the "ONE" then I think you will most likely lose that attraction for someone else, So perhaps you won't want to "jump the gun" and wanna be with someone as your afraid of. I think you might just have to feel it out. I know the anxiety of trying to think about what could happen often drives me crazy lol, so just try to do it by feel. Sort of like "I'll cross that bridge when I reach it" philosophy.
And then make sure you talk to your partner and see how they actually feel.
•
megumidesu Wrote:i think that's a very ignorant view of bisexuality .
there are many bisexual people who are confident in themselves and know exactly what they want . they just happen to be able to love someone regardless of that person's gender.
That is not my view of bisexuality. I was explaining my story of how I came to realize I wasn't bisexual in the hopes that someone reading it could identify and perhaps help with their own bisexuality. I was not trying to impose my friends' views of always having a "preference" either for a man or a woman. I was merely saying that when he said this I realized that it was true for me, so I thought I would mention it and maybe it could help the original thread poster with his thoughts. I do realize that some people may truly not have a preference.
Of course I realize that some people are truly bisexual, but I also do realize that there are a lot of people who consider themselves bisexual but for the wrong reasons like societal and peer pressures, so they just might need some time to find themselves and understand their sexuality a bit more.
I am not an ignorant person, and I would never try to insult or wilfully be ignorant, or make anyone feel small on here, so I apologize if you took my post that way.
•
megumidesu Wrote:i think that's a very ignorant view of bisexuality .
there are many bisexual people who are confident in themselves and know exactly what they want . they just happen to be able to love someone regardless of that person's gender.
I feel as though someone who is gay is someone I could relate to a lot more. I was also trying to make a point in that I believe that someone who is bi would not be my type really. It's not ignorant but its just preference as I have only been with gay men.
At the same time I would never turn someone down on the basis of them being bisexual, and if it does work out with someone who is bisexual than I would definitely have to reevaluate my preferences. I would keep an open mind but at the same time I do worry about if this person would ever try to seek a woman who can clearly provide in ways I can't nor can I compete with.
I mean I think that is a legitimate concern and something I am sure a lot of people can relate too or could anticipate as being a concern if they so happen to be in that situation.
•
Jdawg903, I think that a lot of guys that are really gay at times even think they are bi, for any number of reasons, and those reasons all make perfect sense to me.
I get your concern, it is my concern too. But if I were to find "the one" be they male or female I think I could let go of the other gender. I will still look I can't help that but anything more I would let go of
•
|
I am confused again
