I would be incapable if being with someone who told me it was them or my pet. Not just because of the love I have for my pet but also it would show our values don't necessarily match. Pets are important part of my life and I would only be with a person who would respect that. I would also never have the nerve to tell someone "it's me or the dog." You didn't give much detail so I'm not sure why you're afraid you might be encountering that situation.
A pet will not abuse you, judge you, cheat on you, lie to you (they make sneak behind your back but it'll be to lay on the couch or dig in the trash so really not too big a deal), they will sit with you through every tear you cry and not judge you for anything and even if they don't understand a word you're saying when you're venting your problems to them they DO (at least dogs) understand when you are sad and will provide you with comfort.
I have been turned away from several people because they didn't want to be a friend. My dog never turned me away and when I go to work they dogs there don't turn me away either.
I would choose my pet over my partner in a heart beat if he did not understand these things.
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When someone has a dog (just using a dog as an example), they've effectively adopted another life with the intention of looking after it and giving them a good home. The human relationship with their partner may be different to one of "man and companion" but people create great bonds between themselves and their animals. I can't understand why someone would be forced choose one over the other by their partner unless the pet was somewhat vicious.
Personally I have no pets but my parents have 3 dogs and they don't get in the way of anything we do. I don't plan on getting any pets but if a future partner has one then I will just simply take it as an extension of them, there's no point in making an issue over something so small.
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Considering I go by the motto, Love me love my dog(s), cat(s), whatever I have (children maybe)... I kind of get the choosing of the welfare of a critter (or child) over the welfare of one's partner.
About 6 years ago my ex took the dog to Portland Oregon, it was during a rough patch in our relationship, anyway I ended up missing the dog far much more than him. To make it worse, I told him I missed the dog far much more than him. :eek:
My 'Pets' are not mere property, they are not actually 'pets' they are part of my clan, my family, my pack.
Perhaps in many ways my children. Misplaced paternal instincts? I don't think so, I can't stand the awfulness which is child. :biggrin:
The mere fact that you said animals are inferior is a screaming alarm bell to me. I wouldn't date a person who had that attitude about animals.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a wingnug vegan or crazy in my love for critters where I think we should abolish farming and make the world into an animal farm. I have been known to humanely bring down prey for dinner, even removed a few heads off of chickens in my time.
Animals are not inferior to humans.
It is that attitude that leads to so called bowsmen shooting an arrow with a 35# bow and not caring to aim, allowing the deer to run for miles before dropping from loss of blood. I have brought down deer that had arrowheads lodged in their bodies from prior seasons of hunting because some stupid human had no respect not empathy to do it right.
It is that same attitude that leads to chickens being kept in a box all their life and treated like some soulless, painless machine instead of a life form.
It is that same attitude that leads to animals being beaten, starved, mistreated in ways that break the spirit, mind and bodies of way to many creatures.
It is that same attitude that leads to the post -Easter rabbit population that shows up around here every year as humans 'adopt' rabbits for their kids on Easter to discover in less than a month that rabbit is a bit more work than they bargained, so lets dump the defenseless rabbit out in the rural area in the 'wild'. Where you know the rabbit will feed the feral cat population, the native hawk population and the wild car population which leaves behind a bloody trail of dead bodies along the rural roads as humans can't seem to slow down enough to not hit every animal who makes the mistake of trying to cross the road.
To tell you the truth, this is a large part of the reason why I don't like the human species. Its attitude to other lifeforms is appalling. The other part is I know exactly what kind of monster most humans are, selfish, greedy, egotistical monsters that barely keep their shit in check long enough to organize yet one more slaughter fest they call war. I have seen enough ugly caused my humans to know exactly which species is the inferior one on this planet.
So do I value a dog's life more than a human life - in most cases yes. Definitely, exactly.
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I could not ever disregard the unconditional love a pet gives you, nor would I ever make a demand on someone to put me before it.
You are right about one thing though if you are feeling resentful that you are not getting the attention you deserve , it is a recipe for disaster.
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even if you consider a pet as mearly property then it would still be poor taste to force someone to give up their pet in favor of the relationship.
yes relatinoship involves compromise but you can't change or expect someone else to change just for the other person.
if one person is a pet person and the other then the relationship isn't going to last anyway.
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Any pet of mine is a family member of mine.
In my eyes, Family comes first. No pet's lost is worth a man's satisfaction.
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Well this isn't exactly the direction I thought the thread would go, but it's not a big deal. I see the common theme in everyone's passionate responses. Unfortunately, not one person responded who has the experience of being in a relationship where the pet seemed to take precedence. I never considered for one second making an ultimatum like, "me or the pet". It was only the sense of having a lower rank than the damn dog. But that's ok. I just want to be clear that even if I don't care for pet OWNERship that in no way, shape or form makes me cruel to animals or endorse any cruelty towards animals. The discussion is ended for all I care.
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The relationship over the pet?
