Cute but I'm not that interested

[Double007]

So,

First and foremost, the last significant other I had was my sophomore year in high school. Obviously, I don't have much/any dating and relationship experience since I'm now 34. I've been eyeballing this guy at a nightclub I typically go to and he's been doing the same. I finally got sick and tired of going to the club alone being afraid to talk to people, so I approached him. We ended up dancing together and had a good time. I would say that he was on the line between okay and cute.

He is 23, not a big problem for me. He's in college, not a big problem for me. The school he goes to and where he lives is 2 hours away, that's kind of a problem. We exchanged numbers and he sent me a text wanting to meet up outside of the club. I told him that I would get back to him.

As I think about it, I'm not sure I want to pursue this much. I feel like although he was cute, he wasn't quite what I'm looking for. The distance ( a few other things too) just doesn't help. For the last two nights he has sent me "goodnight texts" (at 1:00am mind you) which is thoughtful and shows interest but too frickin late.

I'm struggling with this, primarily because I would love to have a boyfriend and explore my sexuality more. I do get lonely at times and really feel I shouldn't just turn people down but I also feel like I want to find someone I want or someone that we could spend quality time together and not have to drive two hours. At my age I feel like their are people nearby that I could spend time getting to know.

Am I wrong for thinking like this?
What do you think I should do?

[rover330]

are you all that and a bag of chips bro?

not to present that challenge, but....

you must be the most magnificent and beautiful presentation to the planet, my God. At least. Christ Jesus.

[Rainbowmum]

You should never settle out of desperation , it's unfair to him and you.
You deserve so much more , as does he.

Keep him as a friend but make sure you do not lead him on.

[Lucian]

Well, why don't you try it out and just see how it goes? He's 23 and probably not looking for his soul-mate. It could just be sex, it could be fun dating, or it could develop into something more. But whatever it is, isn't it better than being alone?

[megumidesu]

are you all that and a bag of chips bro?

not to present that challenge, but....

you must be the most magnificent and beautiful presentation to the planet, my God. At least. Christ Jesus.

he shouldn't be judged for thinking this guy is cute but also not being that interested in him . how many times have you looked at someone and thought , "yeah , he's hot but he's not really my type ..."
i'm sure you don't find every single cute guy to be absolutely 100% your type ~


the fact that double007 is making judgments about this guys appearance is also not a reason to criticize him . he's just pointing out that reasons for his initial attraction to this guy so that his post makes sense in context ~

[Double007]

Thanks rainbowmum, I thought about that too. He did text me and was concerned that I wasn't interested. I let him know that it would be nice to meet up as friends. He seems to be serious, so I don't want to lead him on anymore.

Lucian, You are right it is better than being alone, but I also want to keep his feelings in mind and not get too involved. I'm sure he and I will meet up at some point.

[Deedee]

Hmm. I think you better decided what you want. you know if im deciding something for myself. i see the advantages and disadvantages. Try it and then you can tell what you really want.

[pellaz]

Drive time is a issue, everyone has their priorities.

"His college is 2 hours away", I can't see how this is in colorado? Is he in the Springs? Your just being hard to get and seeing the negative.

Be honest with the boy, have fun.
He is on vacation thus the 1am texting

[Marc]

So,

First and foremost, the last significant other I had was my sophomore year in high school. Obviously, I don't have much/any dating and relationship experience since I'm now 34. I've been eyeballing this guy at a nightclub I typically go to and he's been doing the same. I finally got sick and tired of going to the club alone being afraid to talk to people, so I approached him. We ended up dancing together and had a good time. I would say that he was on the line between okay and cute.

He is 23, not a big problem for me. He's in college, not a big problem for me. The school he goes to and where he lives is 2 hours away, that's kind of a problem. We exchanged numbers and he sent me a text wanting to meet up outside of the club. I told him that I would get back to him.

As I think about it, I'm not sure I want to pursue this much. I feel like although he was cute, he wasn't quite what I'm looking for. The distance ( a few other things too) just doesn't help. For the last two nights he has sent me "goodnight texts" (at 1:00am mind you) which is thoughtful and shows interest but too frickin late.

I'm struggling with this, primarily because I would love to have a boyfriend and explore my sexuality more. I do get lonely at times and really feel I shouldn't just turn people down but I also feel like I want to find someone I want or someone that we could spend quality time together and not have to drive two hours. At my age I feel like their are people nearby that I could spend time getting to know.

Am I wrong for thinking like this?
What do you think I should do?

I can't help but see arrogance and shallowness here.

You make a point of saying this guy isn't hot.. Why would you even mention that? Are you that shallow that you have judged him before you even speak to him?

What if he is the most beautiful person on the planet, personality wise, will you care that he may have a few imperfections, that we as humans, all have?

You also make a point about complaining that the guy texts you saying good night at 1am, which is obviously bed time, telling me you are his last thought of the day, which I would find very flattering.

You also complain that he lives a couple of hours from you.

So what if he does?

A couple of hours is nothing.

I'm sorry mate, but he can do much better than you.

[Deedee]

there goes angry marc , so hot. too hot to handle. chill marc