I have accepted my sexuality, even embraced it. I have a friend, a good friend, one that lets me talk openly to him about my desires and what not. But I just feel so perverted some times. I feel as though this is just residual programming that I am trying to undo, but its the same feeling I had always had.
Is this something I need help with?
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I don't think so, If he's a really good friend there should be no secrets :-) Has he told you that certain things you tell him make him uncomfortable?
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Aw, you shouldn't feel embarrassed. Everyone has certain desires.... + he doesn't have a problem with you telling him about them so I think you're fine :-)
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Those times I would look at pictures of men I felt this guilt, I don't feel that at that moment, just when I am thinking about being with a man, feels so right, but feels so wrong, I am so confused.
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I am right here if you feel like a pervert, any time, day or night...just say the word and I'll be there.
Oh! wait, are we thinking along the same lines?
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I don't know if I feel like a pervert exactly, I just feel wrong. I thought I was finally all gay, gay guys tell me that bisexual is like a transition period, but I was enamored with a lady the other day at work.
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Based on your comments, it sounds like you have some internalized homophobia. Straight people are not the only ones who do this. Lots of gay man and women feel bad because society is still in many ways homophobic. Weather you are straight, bi or gay, it can be lurking in your subconscious.
Why do you think the suicide rate is so much higher amongst gay youth? They dont feel good about them self and on some level believe the homophobia about gay thoughts being dirty or bad.
Trust me, any perverted thought you have ever had can be and has been played out in the internet. It not that out of the norm.
Maybe asking yourself if a straight guy was giving you the same talk about women, would you think he is a total pervert or is he just sexually adventurous? Then apply that to judge your gay version of that thought.
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I think you have to accept yourself.... your sexuality AND your likes and dislikes. What 2 adults want to do is their own thing and is OK.... There are different ways to live your sexuality ... and as long both know what they want, why not.
I think I have to know what my partner likes ... maybe it is not my way... thats Ok to. On the other way my opinion is that I can do it as long as it not really annoys me or is just disgusting for me.
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