Sticky situation

[Anonymous]

So i've just learned news that my new BF will basically be dissapearing for the summer I wont be able to see him for almost 5 months and the time before he goes I will only see him once or twice I'm just starting to realize how painful for me a long term relationship is. I feel like I need to move on but by doing that I would end up hurting him and I dont want that for anyone because our relationship otherwise is pretty good I just dont think I can handle the long distance of all of this. I really can only go see him like once a month and It really grinds on me that I cant see him. The problem is he's the less confident one and I dont want his dating game (i guess you could call it) be ruined by this, I want him to be able to move on in the same way that I would.

[Nick9]

Hi Anon, will you be able to chat? Use your phones? Or will he be in some rural area where this won't be possible?

[Nick9]

I feel like I need to move on but by doing that I would end up hurting him and I dont want that for anyone because our relationship otherwise is pretty good I just dont think I can handle the long distance of all of this. I really can only go see him like once a month and It really grinds on me that I cant see him. The problem is he's the less confident one and I dont want his dating game (i guess you could call it) be ruined by this, I want him to be able to move on in the same way that I would.

hmm, so the problem is not how to live through those five months, but how to break up with him and not make him devastated? :confused:

[Anonymous]

hmm, so the problem is not how to live through those five months, but how to break up with him and not make him devastated? :confused:

Well way to make it sound so harsh But sort of yeah for me to get the closeness that I want with him I would have to wait 2+ years and I dont think I can do that. But I dont want to breakup with him and hurt him because I really do like him I just dont think I can wait like 2 years to be close to him

[Nick9]

sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh.

You said the BF was "new," I am not sure what that means, how long you are together, but if you feel like your relationship won't survive those five months, then maybe it is wise to end it.

2 years to be close to him... That's another thing that I never experienced. Either I clicked with someone or I didn't, but I never felt like there was a period to overcome to feel close to him.

It seems like you feel what you need to do. Maybe the fact that he has to leave for several months will make it easier for him to break up with you. Unless the stay is going to be emotionally difficult and he counted on you to help him through.

[bakalove]

sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh.

You said the BF was "new," I am not sure what that means, how long you are together, but if you feel like your relationship won't survive those five months, then maybe it is wise to end it.

2 years to be close to him... That's another thing that I never experienced. Either I clicked with someone or I didn't, but I never felt like there was a period to overcome to feel close to him.

It seems like you feel what you need to do. Maybe the fact that he has to leave for several months will make it easier for him to break up with you. Unless the stay is going to be emotionally difficult and he counted on you to help him through.

I dont mean that kind of close we are pretty close emotionally I mean physically close to eachother and by new I mean we've been dating like a month and I'm not sure if he would rely on me over that period of time I would hope not

[Nick9]

five months of being away after just one month of seeing each other seems to be hard. I am afraid we can't decide it for you. You must know how in love you are and if you can see the future with him. Then you can decide if it is worth the struggle. When you are with someone for a long time , five months are easily manageable. In your case... it's up to you and him if you want to put your effort in it and keep the relationship growing during that period

[dfiant]

Relationships are about trust and communication. You don't seem to have either of them.

Personal issues like this are rarely solved by forums like this. More likely to solve the issue if talk to him.

[Will101]

Well, i'm pretty sure that those kinds of relationship are difficult , but , a question for you would be, How much you love him? I mean, you have a "pretty good" relationship with him or a " really in love" one? If you love him like heaven he loves you that much too, i think you both can wait , and think that HE is making sacrifices too ! Not only you , think how he's feeling... And 5 month goes flying, and the waiting would be worthy , and if you do not think you are that into him to wait for him and you just want a new relationship... That's another thing. Luck!

[Counselor]

Relationships are about trust and communication. You don't seem to have either of them.

Personal issues like this are rarely solved by forums like this. More likely to solve the issue if talk to him.

Quoted for Truth.