Curious about exploring with my friend

[TobiasFunke]

When I was about 17 I first had a gay experience with a close friend. He was already out but I had always fancied girls so I put it down to a skinfull of alcohol and thought no more about it.

Since then we have had a few times were we have messed around but it has never gone the full way. A few times it has been down to not having the privacy to take it further but other times it has been down to me false starting and getting embarassed.

I don't look at other men sexually yet I can't stop thinking about previous experiences we have had or possible future events. I have even sent him picture mails and had chat sex over google chat when i have had a few too many late at night. My friend lives abroad so we only see each other once or twice a year and I chicken out whenever he's over and make excuses. I want to go the way but I'm nervous.

Has any one else ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it?

[oiramittedeneb]

Hello Tobias. I´m not sure if this counts as an introduction post, but in any case, welcome to the forum. I hope you enjoy it.

About your situation, what does your friend say about all this?

[TobiasFunke]

I've never really talked to deeply about this with him before. He knows I'm interested in exploring but not much more than that.

[Undreamt]

Whats the worst that could happen? You'll enjoy it too much?

You aren't going to suddenly change if you do more, if all you want to do is explore than that is all you need do.

But yeah I'd talk to your friend first so that he knows what you want.

[oiramittedeneb]

But the feeling of embarrassment surges because of the idea of being with a man? Or is it because you´re inexperienced? Or what exactly comes to your mind in that moment?

From a general perspective, if he is openly gay and the issue is pretty much in the open, I believe it shouldn’t be too complicate it to just speak about it with him.

[mihai]

i am still this with some friends when we have a bit too much fun lol. They just like to mess arround ... though they are str8, just try to see what happens next time you meet , don#t bush the boundries too much, try to do the 1st step let him do the next and so on , you will know when it should stop

[Counselor]

Welcome to Gayspeak!

And absolute lol and kudos for a well-picked screen name!

[TomStatic]

Hi , i had a straight friend, when we always drankk we always messed around but never went all the way but to this day i still don't know if he is gay or not , im not friends with him anymore as thats just how it goes with some friends, but you aint got anything to lose by trying more stuff out with him , just go for it

[pellaz]

first off welcome to gayspeak

-always the safe sex, unless you want a BIG life change. which would be a shame so young, your body tho.
-have a long and sober talk with your friend on where you stand today. Being gay is not about the sex, its about the ability to carry on a same sex relationship (communication, respect, trust and sex)
-people are the way they are, so explore your self. put the generic labels on it will lead to your failure.