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How are you today?
had a good working day. Got to watch a particularly lovely sunrise through big garage windows. And the place was busy so time went fast.

Plus thanks to cov city winning at Wembley most of the customers were happy.
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I just wrote an essay on here then decided to delete it. I just can't get across how I feel right now. It's like a cup with equal amounts of good and bad stirred together. It's been an intense day. Positive hope for the future, but a sad goodbye to part of my past.
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.
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IanSaysHi Wrote:Positive hope for the future, but a sad goodbye to part of my past.

Sounds like me getting out of bed in the morning.
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Kinda ok, mostly cause yesterday I had a good day, a new small piazza was dedicated to grandpa Catsmiley
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Feeling kind of sad, The local weatherman was found dead as a result of suicide, and it has me reminiscing over the people close to me I lost that were far to young to go.
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After a busy week of celebrations, had a wonderful week celebrating the resurrection
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Waiting to see if a lad I've been talking to is worth my time
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Doing decent! Getting more and more excited for my nephew to be born.
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Had a great day out at Loch Lomond today. Good to get out of the city and be surrounded by mountains and forests and water! Confusedmile:
<<<<I'm just consciousness having a human experience>>>>
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I'm not doing well.

I'm kinda ashamed that I always come back to GS as soon as I feel bad. But well.

Since a few days, depression rules my day again, and I sleep half of the day because sleeping enables me to escape. When I'm awake, I'm grumpy, don't see a point in doing anything, can hardly do what I meant to do, so keeping it to a minimum, like going to the supermarket.

The problem is that there is no help for me. A friend has offered to talk, but he won't be able to understand me, my life is completely different to his. He surely can't grasp what goes on on my mind, what I deal with all my life. But then, whatever group I end up in, even here on GS, I will always feel like an outsider, like I'm not on par with others. Focussing on my deficits doesn't help, but the world around me reminds me of them 24/7.

I'm not having dark thoughts or so, I'm just completely tired of fighting my way out of my issues. There is no way out of my issues, and there will be more issues in the future.

Maybe I will die without ever having sex. It's as it is. I just can't, and I don't know why, and how can anyone understand it if not even I do. I must accept that I'm the odd one, in whatever constellation of people I end up with. I'm tired of becoming someone I'm not.
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